Ode to Duck (this is also for you Jen Lynn, and you too Julie. And I suppose Nathan as well)

Duck aka Luke my dear youngest sibling had a birthday on Easter Sunday. Just like Jen Lynn.

But alas! So beset was I with the task of transforming my family into something out of the The Stepford Wives, and diligently consuming all manner of sugar and fat, that I forgot about them both. Until my diligent oldest sibling reminded me of this fact at about 2am on Tuesday morning.
So in my exhaustion and sugar induced delusions, I managed to pen this brilliance before I descended into my diabetic coma. (The dedication to Julie and Nathan is due to the fact that I had vehemently decreed my distaste for poetry at our Easter gathering, much to their disgust and dismay). It is a shame I do not like poetry much,(although it was discovered that in fact, I do actually like it but anyway...) it's a shame that I think that I don't because clearly I am the next Emily Dickinson. Don't ya think? Shona (aforementioned oldest sibling said that it should be published in the Big Book of Random Poetry). Anyway again, so sorry Luke (and Jen) you are both oh so very fabulous.

Dear old Duck
I so suck
You have bad luck
Of being stuck
with someone who
would forget YOU
on your birthday

But wait
I did not
As it is still your birthday here
Well not technically
But because I have not yet gone to bed
It counts
Just like when
You only start the Sabbath
When you go to bed on Sat/Sun
But it ends at precisely midnight on Monday morn
So you can study for a test
Or go and get a burger
From Wendys
That you were craving
Because of all the sugar and crap you have been eating

You may have noticed
That I ceased to rhyme
Not because I am out of time
But because I was out of rhyme
Also all good poetry
Stops rhyming at some point
Or at least this is what I have always suspected
But never confirmed
Since I tend to shy away from
Good Poetry

I think it counts
As poetry
If you break up the sentence
in awkward spots
Like so

Regardless
Duck duck duck
I so hope
Your birthday did not suck
In the manner of your
Sister
Who is lame
It is a shame
That you should have a sister
Who is lame

It just occurred
To me that you probably
Went out of town
For the long weekend
Thus I could have
Used the excuse
That I tried to phone
But no reply
Yet sadly,
That would be a lie

So in all truth
I must say
That in every way
You are a stud
Nothing good
Rhymes with stud

You are smart
And you are funny
Very sweet
And oh so punny
Handsome as the day is long
Never ever does anything wrong

Techno whore
Dearth of communication no more
We are so pleased
You are home
But it would be better
If you lived where it was wetter
For instance here
Or us there
But you are just one person
So it is more convenient
that you should be here
Until we
Can get there
Or perhaps
Somewhere near

Your niece and nephews
Really like you
they say
We like Luke
He is a kook
They don't really
but it barely
rhymes
And that is what counts
At all times

They do say they like you
This is true
Luke Drew
And so do I
I will not lie

Happy birthday dear Luke
You do not make me puke
And that is always
A good thing

Your name
Has a certain ring
Which does bring
Gladness to my soul
And fills my bowl
Of happiness

Dude it would suck
If this got lost
Big time
The sucking that is
So I should send it
So you can lend it
to
other people
Who may forget
The birthday of
their brother named
Luke Drew
Please note the "to" way back there
rhymes with the Drew
Over here

By the way
Your name is cool
And you aint no fool

Lots and lots
of love
and hope for many blessings
showering down on you
from above

No sorry I just can't end like that
It is spiritual
But somewhat flat
So I'll say
HEY
Have a rocking year
And if you get married
I will buy you a beer

No I wont
So don't be in a hurry
To do that
Cos I most probably
Will not like
anyone
You decide to marry

Just so you know

xoxoxoxoxxooxoxo
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!
sucky sister stin

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