Home again home again trittity-trot..

Hello again my dears.

I survived to tell the tale but I am rather tired so let's do a bullet point synopsis shall we?

• Number of girls between 12-18 at camp: Approximately 120
• Number I was directly responsible for:14
  
• Drama: surprisingly low
  
• Days spent in the great outdoors: 3.5
• Nights spent in a tent: 3
• Rain: incessant
• Spiders: plentiful
  
• Toilets: flushing-hallelujah
• Chocolate: I love you
  
• Canoeing-7 miles, no current. Fun {ouch}
  
• Screaming-yes
• Hiking: soggy
• Rain poncho: permanent fashion fixture
• Feet: wet
• Showers: warm (hallelujah)
• Dutch oven: I do not wish to speak of ever again
• My girls: troopers
  
• My fellow camp moms: Oh, Thank Heaven
  
• Individual most likely to be eaten first in a Donner Party type scenario: Me
• Time that can be added to a trip when an "S" looks like a "5" on handwritten directions: 65 minutes
• Probability that if we'd been stopped on aforementioned trip, Bishop would have been arrested on suspicion of foul-play: 90% (he had on his person: a knife, a roll of duct-tape, was surrounded by tarps and unhappy young women, and was wearing a bright blue sweater made by his dead granny.)
  
• Bats: One named Cherise who came too close to me. Another unnamed who came MUCH too close to me
  
• My bat phobia: The best entertainment Melissa and Melinda ever had
• Rivalries: Melissa and Jeff over who "John Locke-d" the fire more impressively.
• Most ingenius use of a household item: A dustpan as "billows" by Jeff.
  
• Mosquito bites: All over my face. Awesome
• Attempt to adapt All the Single Ladies into pertinent skit: Unfortunate. (aka: The Song That Went Wrong)
  
• Best camping invention: Cots
• Worst camping invention: Dutch ovens
• False allegations made against me: I am a "beetle flinger". A hypersensitive, t-shirt obsessed beetle flinger .
• Number of ribs I may have broken from trying (unsuccessfully) to stifle inappropriate laughter: 2
  
• Bed time: way too late
• Waking time: way too early
• Kim Hales' follow-through on threats I make on her behalf (ie: If you don't stop talking I am going to send Sister Hales to sit on you) :swift and true.
• Testimony meeting: eloquently tearful
  
• Energy level: miraculously high all things considered
• Tolerance level: ditto
• Percentage of tolerance/energy level decline as camp was being broken: 100
  
• Historical tour of the John Johnson farm: fabulous
• Marshmallow toasting (mine): Masterful
• Down-time: what?
• My camera: Uncooperative. I will hopefully be able to post my many photos at some later point.
• My husband: ultimate rock-star
• My kids: best in the world
• Inside jokes and catch-phrases which will annoy all those not in attendance for the next year: Tarped for birthing, chestnuts roasting, beetle flinging, sister wives at "Chick-a-fil", hypersensitive and SHUSH.
• Special thanks to: Melissa, Melinda, Kim and Rayna. Without you things would have been a nightmare for all involved. With you, it was fun and functional. Thanks also to Bishop and the H-bomb proving that men can be useful and fun. And of course my girlies-even though you would eat me, I love you all.
  

Happy 4th m'peeps. The weather here is most disappointing. It's a step up from the week of rain I just had but still most unfitting for the 4th of July. Summer, I did not want to have to say this, but you suck.

Hope you all have fun today. If you are coming to my house for festivities today know this: I did not clean it and I will not apologize for that. You may judge me at will. I am comfortable with that.

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