So this seems really…I don’t know…irrelevant? trivial? in light of my last couple of posts.
But I know that today’s movement was deeply personal and extremely emotional to many women and given that, I will attempt to be respectful in my comments. In the comments I have read on various articles regarding this movement on the internet, I have seen people being everything from condescending and dismissive to dangerously abusive of each other on this topic. These are people who call each other “brothers and sisters” in Christ. I find that deeply, deeply disturbing, heartbreakingly disappointing and horribly hypocritical.
Also..in the last few days, several people have asked about my stand on the “wear pants to church thing”. In situations like these I tend to get a lot of thoughts floating around in my head and it makes me fuzzy and flustered, so I thought I would spit them all out onto the screen so as to unclutter things in my brain.
Here are some facts:
1.Today I wore a dress to church. It was comfortable, I felt good wearing it. It was my choice to wear it and I would not have rather been wearing something else.
2.I was completely aware of the movement today and I consciously chose not to participate.
3.I consider myself to be a feminist in the sense that I feel very strongly that women are equal in every single way to men. I believe that many roles, tasks and privileges which have traditionally been assigned to genders, can be equally well done by either sex. I also believe that there are some roles that are divinely appointed to each sex. I believe that I am equal in every way to my husband but I believe (and am deeply grateful) that we are not the same. I have no desire to be the same as my husband. I have no desire switch roles. I am completely comfortable and satisfied with our roles within our marriage and as parents. Most of them have been established through trial and error and time. Sometimes they switch, sometimes they overlap but some of them are not fluid.
4. I feel that there are many areas within the Mormon culture (not to be confused with the Mormon doctrine) which need to be revisited as soon as possible regarding the equality of not just men and women but of all people. I feel this very, very passionately (and somewhat impatiently) . I am not afraid or intimidated about defending my position on this.
5.If I had wanted to wear pants to church today, and if I had pants which I felt were appropriately formal to wear (and were flattering), I would have. I would not have feared any sort of judgment or recrimination. It is possible that there would have been some quiet muttering about my attire, but surprisingly? that really does not bother me in the least.
I am almost certain no one would have been rude to me or confrontational about that choice in any way. It is more likely that people would just have been surprised and wondered what was going on, since I’ve never worn pants to Church before.
And here are some opinions:
Number 5 above is the main reason why I didn’t wear pants to church. In our faith Sacrament meeting is considered a sacred time. (If you were to ever visit an LDS chapel during Sacrament meeting you might be really surprised by that because babies and kids don’t seem to put much stock in reverence).
Sacrament meeting is the time when we renew our covenants with the Lord. It is a time to reflect on our spirituality and to commune with the Spirit. When I am not wrangling a toddler or shooting death glares at her not so subtly goofing off /bickering siblings, I really appreciate the time to talk to my Heavenly Father about where I’m failing and where I’m progressing. Sometimes I just use the time to allow myself to feel His love. Sometimes I think about the Savior and the pain and devotion that went into His Atonement for me. I have always thought of Sacrament meeting as something that showed that we have an infinitely loving and adoring Father in Heaven. One who wants desperately for us to return home to Him. One who gives us countless opportunities to repent and to heal from the sins inflicted on us by others. To feel those burdens lifted from our shoulders.
While I have no fight with my sisters who initiated and supported today’s movement, it didn’t feel right to me. No matter how worthy a cause is, I just don’t feel Sacrament is an appropriate place to take a stand. I have no beef with the Lord on this issue. To me, Jesus is the greatest supporter of human rights to have ever lived. Jesus is NEVER cool with hatred and discrimination. Nobody demonstrated a true belief in equality better than He did. I take no stand against Him. And Sacrament meeting is my time to be with Him, to honour and thank Him, to remember Him and to renew my covenants with Him. It’s not the time to take a political or social stand.
It’s also (in my opinion) not a time to knowingly distract myself or anyone else. And I do feel that this movement was designed to distract. It was designed to be noticed. It was a statement. That’s the whole point. Again, I take no issue with that statement. In fact I thoroughly support that statement, but, (to put it ever so gauchely), I’m not going to make this statement on Jesus Christ’s time.
And that’s why I was not wearing the pants today. When I got home though, I put on my pajamas and took a really nice nap.
Who wears the pants?
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3 comments:
"3.I consider myself to be a feminist in the sense that I feel very strongly that women are equal in every single way to men. I believe that many roles, tasks and privileges which have traditionally been assigned to genders, can be equally well done by either sex. I also believe that there are some roles that are divinely appointed to each sex. I believe that I am equal in every way to my husband but I believe (and am deeply grateful) that we are not the same. I have no desire to be the same as my husband. I have no desire switch roles. I am completely comfortable and satisfied with our roles within our marriage and as parents. Most of them have been established through trial and error and time. Sometimes they switch, sometimes they overlap but some of them are not fluid. "
I think this might be one of my favorite things you've said. Or rather--I think it comes close to expressing how I feel but have never been able to so adequately put for myself.
I love this. Very well said. Thank you!
You said what would have been my opinion if I had been aware of the issue, but you said it a whole lot better than I would have been able to. I am proud of you. Amen to that.
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