April Fool’s Triumphs of Years Gone By

Below is a repost of my most "hit upon" post ever and the follow up post (which makes me cackle with glee still....)
Without further ado I give you:

Fooling Around With my Husband (originally posted March 31, 2009)

What I am about to share with you is the delightful tale of when I tricked my husband (oh, but good), one fateful April Fools Day, turning him into a laughing stock at the office to boot. Ahhh, good times.

I am a compulsive liar joker. Some people (particularly men,) are somewhat unnerved by me because (amongst several other reasons I suspect,) they "never know when you're serious."
All this to say that my husband, after almost 14 years of marriage, is now wise to me and does not even do a double take when I flash a red Sharpie amended "positive" pregnancy test at him anymore. Bummer. However on one glorious Spring day a couple of years ago, when his guard was (foolishly) down, I had my moment.
At about 10am on April 1st, I called him at work and engaged him in some disarming chitchat. Then I lowered my tone into one of hushed urgency, "Aaron, this guy called and he said he needed to speak to you immediately. It sounded really serious, please call him right away and let me know, because I am stressing over what it could be!"
Aaron, being the obliging and obedient fellow he is, agreed to call promptly. I gave him the phone number of the local Zoo and told him to ask for "Mr. Lyon" (I even spelled it for him with the misleading "y" -ha! I have a criminal's eye for detail, folks).
And this is how it went down:
He called the Zoo, and dutifully asked for Mr. Lyon. He was informed that no such individual was available. He pressed them, "are you sure? I am returning his call, he said it was very urgent". A pause. Finally the resigned voice replied dead-pan, "Sir, this is the Zoo, it is April 1st, someone has fooled you".

Here's the best part, gentle reader:
My sweet, guileless, (momentarily) trusting husband then called me in great indignation to inform me that we had been tricked! It was only when my apoplectic laughter caused me to snort (in a genteel manner), that he finally....finally cottoned on.
"YOU!", he gasped aghast with shock and outrage. He had been had, and it was by she to whom he was wed. His sweet and loving wife, the very one!
His workmates still call him Mr. Lyon. One guy went so far as to call in a growly voice, identifying himself as Mr. Tiger.
*Happy sigh*....It was awesome. I wonder if he would fall for it again this year.....sadly probably not. But you should definitely try it, I bet it works for you too.

Happy April!

And now, it is with no small measure of pride that I present you with: "Playing the Fool" (originally posted April 1st 2009)

Wow I had the most hits on my blog ever today. By a rather significant margin. We are a world full of avid pranksters apparently dahlings. Also, did you notice the ads on my sidebar? They picked up on the "Fooling around with my husband" title and there has been all manner of "how to know if your husband secretly hates you/has a secret life and family in a neighbouring state,....etc etc. Niiiiice. Sorry 'bout that.'

Anyway, I had a rather successful day today.
I started the day by rather lamely (hey I had just woken up) asking Gracie why her hair was pink. She looked in the mirror and replied, "I don't know". Ooooookaaaay? I suppose she is blonde.

Moving on......

I then rushed downstairs and frantically asked the boys why they were still home. They looked stunned. I shrieked that it was 9:30am! (It was 8:30am, which they told me).
"But the clock is broken, I told you last night!"
(Since I frequently tell them things which they later have no recollection of, this was plausible.)

They looked horrified. Then they sprang into action and started dashing around aimlessly uttering unintelligible and increasingly hysterical sounds. I caught Gabe's eye, he looked as though he was afraid for his life-sheer terror. I suddenly realized this was not a fun idea. I said quietly, ( and what I thought was soothingly)..."Hey....Gaaaabe...April Fool!"

He stopped for a moment, stared at me looking completely flummoxed, and then burst into tears. "Mommy, never do that again!" Yeah sorry Gabe, I won't. You don't mess with that kid and his punctuality phobia. That was mean.
Moving right along..
Kept Finny entertained with look there's a pink elephant, a giant spider etc etc. Innocuous fun..whatever.

Called Aaron.

He greeted me with, "Good morning and you won't get me with any April Fool's pranks".
I replied flatly, "I wish. It seems our children have a couple of extra days of Spring break".

"Why?" came the reply.
"Oh I found some fun friends in Gracie's hair this morning, and then some in Gabe's. I just kept the other two home because I haven't had time to check them yet. Awesome huh?"

"NO WAY!" came the distressed reply!" Where could they have gotten them?"
Me: "I don't know, kids get lice..it happens."
Him: "Well are you going to call Amy? The kids were playing together last night and she should know."
Me: "yeah I guess I could do that", I replied thoughtfully. "Then she could be an April Fool too."

Him: "You are TERRIBLE".
Me: Oh I know.
Him: "I can't believe I fell for that!"
Me: I can.

Ruthlessly moved onto next victim: friend Cindi.

(Disclaimer: The problem with me is that I don't generally plan what I'm going to say, I just sort of lie by the seat of my pants..sometimes it turns out a bit..off)
(Cindi is my son's preschool teacher.)
Me: So hey, guess why Finny was so tired yesterday?
Cindi: Why? Is he sick?
Me: Yup. Scarlet Fever. (Scarlet Fever??!- I did a quick mental inventory of an illness that she was likely to know little about and get more freaked out over. Strep would not faze her. Trust me.)
Cindi: Oh my gosh that is serious isn't it?
Me: Yes. Very.
Cindi: It can affect the heart...
Me: (thinking how very tasteless this was) Umm..yeah.
Cindi: So did they do a blood test or what?
Me: Well I guess they would have, if he really was sick...April Fool?
Cindi: I hate you. And also it is quite unsettling at how well you lie.
Me: Yes, for me too.
She was a good sport about it (even though she'd had to excuse herself from the room she was in for fear she would cry). Sheesh, I suck. I know, I know, we do not joke about illness, only pestilence. It won't happen again.

Moving on to aforementioned Amy...

Me: Hey, so you may want to check between your kids' fingers and toes and crevices and such....
Her: Umm....why would that be?
Me: Because my kids have scabies and they were all playing together yesterday.
Her: Scabies?!!! Where would they get scabies??
Me: From my filthy house probably...
Her: Your house is not filthy
Me: That's what you think
Her: No seriously where would they have picked up scabies? Are they contagious?
Me: VERY!!
Her: Oh so probably from a child at school with a filthy house then...
I was a little deflated by the fact that Amy was so intrigued by the source of the scabies and less by the fact that her own precious children may have them..
Me: Yes, well anyway the whole thing is most unfortunate.
Her: Well yeah...
Me: It being the 1st of April and all
Her: You are so MEAN.
Me: Yes, I know.

My neighbour, Tiffany then called.

We had some casual chit-chat...then (after ascertaining she was actually at home and not calling from the road..)
Me: So hey..what's wrong with your van??
Her: Nothing? What do you mean?
Me: Well...why are they towing it then?
Her: They're TOWING IT???
Me: Yup I'm standing in my backyard watching...wait you didn't know?
Her: They're ToWING IT??
Me: Do you want me to run and stop them??
Her:It's April 1st. I hate you.
Me: Ah yes, I get that a lot.

It's been a delightful day folks. Loved it.

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