The News

M’peeps. Forgive, I implore. I have not been feeling very well of late. Actually I have been feeling completely rubbishing of late. Hence the lack of news. However I am about to make up for that now. And how.

July has been an eventful month. Eventful with a capital E. Perhaps even a capital V too. Here are a few of the high-lights

I am now a certified personal trainer! Yes! I passed! I am so excited. Now I get to torture folk all official like.  If you are local-call me. If you aren’t,  I am looking into setting up some long-distance/cyber training. Maybe you’d be interested? The price cannot be beat. I know it works because I have a cyber-trainer and she kicks my bottom. I’ll keep you posted.

“I can do a 6 minute 20 second wall sit. Yeah-huh. I can! Check the board at the Community Center! What’s YOUR problem??”  (That may look like Jillian Michaels but it’s totally me.)

Yesterday I was set apart for 2 new callings! I am the Ward Activities Committee Chairperson and now I am also the 2nd counselor in the Primary Presidency.  I think it’s because I am wicked. They like to keep my type busy.  I am excited. Primary is a happy place.  We had our first activity on Saturday for Pioneer Day. It was fun. See?

So… here’s a riddle for you….what goes best with a new fitness/body conscious career and two new callings? Why a new baby of course!

What were you going to suggest? A maid? A maid!

Ahahahahaha…hahahahaha….hahahaha…. Breathe…..

hahahahahahahahahahhahahahaha……ahhhhh……..sigh……….

SO! THAT was rather a surprise my friends. How much of a surprise?  Well let’s put it this way.  I took the test on a whim (or the suggestion of Aaron..but…same same). I had come home from a meeting at 11pm.  I posted a facebook update about how weepy and exhausted I felt.  I ate another jar of olives.  Aaron suggested a test. I scoffed at this concept since I had no reason to believe I was pregnant. I ranted about Things and ate some chocolate wishing aloud that we had more olives.  Aaron pointed out that I had a spare test from a previous adventure upstairs so I may as well…

I figured why not….I was headed that way anyway….I do love me some bathroom science now and again.

I did what you do with the test. I put the test to the side. I glanced at the test and wondered why the control line of the test (which had come up fast and furious)… was in the wrong spot…..I glanced again at the test. I wondered why there were 2 lines. I seemed to remember from the experience with tests back in the dark ages that there was only supposed to be one..unless… of course. But of course not.

I grabbed the instructions and reviewed the whole concept. Reading a pregnancy test is a fairly complex process but using my finely honed skills of deduction I navigated my way through it. I came to the stunning conclusion that the 2 lines could mean only one thing.

I stared at the People magazine on the floor of the bathroom. It seemed appropriate. I picked it up and turned the pages with exaggerated calm.

I attempted to remember my name.

I pocketed the test. I wandered downstairs. I strolled into the living room clutching a cup of rooibos tea. Aaron glanced up from the soccer registration he was engrossed in. “So, are you pregnant?”

“Hmm….yes. It would appear so”.

Aaron continues to type. He has no reason to believe anything I say. After a moment he looks up and notices my ashen face and white knuckles wrapped around the mug.

“let me see the test”

I wave it at him.

He stares at it critically to determine whether it has been amended with sharpie this time. 

Apparently not.

“Yes that does indeed look positive”

Continues to type

I continue to stand and stare.

It went on something like that for the next week or two…

So here we are.  We broke the news to the kids tonight. They were predictably ecstatic and agreed that my stomach looked a little bigger. Thanks guys. The baby is like..the size of a grape.

Gracie has been instructing me to to “pinch her” ever since.

Benj played it a little cool since he had apparently known this whole time. (Prenatal vitamins combined with violent puking, dr. visits and a new devotion to napping tipped that genius off).  That would explain the many spontaneous hugs I have been getting from him lately. I will post video of the “reveal” tomorrow. It should be quite cute. 

We are all excited. Even if mommy and daddy are still rather dazed (I won’t say confused..yes we know how this happens so you can save that really fresh and funny joke for another Mormon..) and even though mommy is as sick as a dog and looking like a battered wife under her make-up (from all the broken blood vessels from the less then graceful puking).

Up until now, our children have all been 2 years apart or less. My baby will be almost 7 when this one is born. So that’s different. Also? We weren’t having any more babies. If you don’t believe me I got rid of every last baby item a couple of weeks before we discovered. We really weren’t going to have any more. Not to say I was totally and completely over the whole baby thing. But I just assumed that was because I was like that. I love the babies.  Rationally and responsibly and consciously and all that. We were done producing them. The whole personal trainer certification thingie was strategically orchestrated to distract me from the fact that this Fall.. for the first time in 12 years I would be alone at home alllll the live long day. And I was getting very adjusted to that fact….

Life is funny.

The night after I found out, Finny hopped into bed and asked me why we couldn’t have our own baby. Then he counted on his fingers all the people who had babies and told me how unfair it was that we weren’t numbered amongst them. That made me smile inside.  A few days ago at Gymboree Gracie asked me almost tearfully why we couldn’t have a baby and assured me that she would love it so much even if it was a boy….When we went to TN with our friends our big boys rated hanging out with sweet 2 year old Aleah as a highlight which exceeded wake-boarding and tubing…I think this baby is going to be quite well-loved.

Btw if you want a laugh and you have time you should read or re-read this post and count the ironic statements. I was pregnant when I wrote that. I just didn’t know. I didn’t know when I wrote this either..hahaha…..ha…ha…

So that’s some of the high-lights friends. Thanks for hanging in with me.  Ginger-flavoured kisses….

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