Splish splash I was making a dash....


It is a gloriously warm today. They say it will be 60 degrees. For people who give thanks for anything above freezing during this month, it is practically warm enough to be declared a state holiday.

As I drove to the gym this morning, joyfully splashing through the puddles of melted snow, I relished the SWOOOOOOOOSH each time.

About ten delicious Swooshes into our trip, an exasperated little voice pipes up from the back-seat.

"Learn to drive already!"

"Huh?" I turn down the radio, "learn to drive? Who? Me?"

"Yes" the little voice curtly replies

*suppressing the laughter bubbling in the top of my chest* "Um..why would you say that?"

"You keep scraping the car along the sidewalk mommy, and it's not good for it!"

All this time, all these years of indulging in the grown up version of puddle jumping, thinking I was giving my little passengers such a fun treat, and all the while they are biting their tongues, thinking, "dude...my mom is a moron".

until that fateful day when a brave four year old male passenger could take the abuse of the family vehicle no longer...

(It would of course be one of the male variety defending the vehicle and casting aspersions on my driving abilities. I'm just saying.)


The unsucky birthday report....




As I mentioned below my birthday was lovely. I knew it would be when I started reading your resolutions and it just kept getting better!


I awoke at around 4:30am to the sound of my husband rustling around. He was placing my presents next to my bed, before he left for work. This also woke Finny who came sleepily into my room, enthusiastically wished me, "HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOMMY!" kissed me and fell asleep cuddled up at my side.



I was later treated to a gourmet breakfast in bed. You can see the lovely milk jug there as they sing Happy Birthday It was accompanied by a small serving bowl filled to the brim with cereal. A delicately presented culinary delight. And presents! A whole slew of Bath and Body Works to indulge the senses (hooray for that awesome sale :) and a lovely willow tree ornament picked out by the kids. The sign behind their heads is one Gracie had put up to decorate my room (see the bows? she tied them herself) it says, "33 areddy! OLD! (No effents!)" It was accompanied by a pefect picture of a penguin. Which was appropriate. Because nothing says "hey no ofents but you're old!" like a penguin. Am I right?


Then it was off to the gym where I had planned to shuffle a 5k (which on the indoor track is 24 laps). However I was so energized (and distracted) by thinking about what so many of you would be up to that day, that I decided I would go for 33 laps instead in honour of my advanced age and feeling the urge to do something a bit out of my current comfort zone. (By lap 30 I was deeply grateful that I was not turning 44, or 66)... but I did end up running 34 laps (you have to add a lap for the cool down ;). It's been a while since I pushed myself much beyond 3 miles so it felt somewhat triumphant.


Upon my return home I decided to indulge in a bubble bath. One of my gifts was a bubble bath called Optimism. It felt fitting for my mood and as I soaked in the bouncy bubbles, I decided it would be my theme for the year. (A friend later brought over a whole gift package of Optimism products (including a cool water bottle with the "my glass is half full" reminder on the side) so I took it as confirmation that this was to be the theme for me and 33.

Finny decided that I looked like I was having a good time and begged to have a bubble bath after I was done. I cringed a little as I sacrificed my precious "optimism" for his bathing pleasure. But a moment later he sat up from his basking and said, "Mommy? " "Mmmm??" I replied vaguely wondering what toy I was going to be asked to track down to join him in the suds.


" This is so nice. Thank you so much. I love you"

This is a boy who is very loving and demonstrative and frequently exclaims at the exquisite agony of loving me so much "I just can't handle it anymore mommy! I love you SOOOOO much, I just can't stop!" but this quiet, genuine and grown up moment was one I will never forget.

My toes got their first (very quick) pedicure in as long as I can remember and are now festively polished in Valentine red. I feel pampered every time I see them. Speaking of red, just before I dropped Finny off at school I remembered it was National Wear Red day. As I scanned the room for something red and warm to throw on, the UPS guy ran up to the door. I grabbed the package, ripped it open and found a perfect little red pea-coat inside. It was SO cute! I put it on, it fit perfectly. I ripped off the tags and ran out the door feeling on top of the world. It was only half way to Finny's school when it occurred to me that I should maybe have checked the address on the box since I might be wearing the coat of the girl a few doors down. Oh! And when I got into the car my favourite song was playing on the radio. That's a good omen you know.

After dropping Finny off at preschool I realized I had enough time to treat myself to lunch and so I went to the local bakery and supported a wonderful local business (how selfless and philanthropic am I?) I sacrificed myself with spiced Indian carrot soup (divine) a gourmet grilled cheese (unbelievable) and belgian chocolate mint tea (sublime). I sat in a sunny window, read the paper, chatted to Aaron on the phone (the coat happily, was meant for me) and felt altogether spoiled.


It was then onto the kids' school where I volunteered at the library for a couple of hours. When I got home, Aaron was there feverishly cleaning up. I had been girding up my loins to walk in and clean out Thumper's less then fragrant habitat (what a messy little thing she is) but I found it fresh and clean (he had risked his very life for me people!)

I had lovely friends bringing by lovely homemade gifts including two of my favourite girls in the world show up with the most delicious chocolate chip cookies they had baked from scratch right after school.


That night we went out with some friends for Indian food. Friends, Indian food, need I say more?



And finally I was serenaded as never before with a rendition of Happy Birthday. When I went to the Benjamin Zander lecture he taught us how to sing Happy Birthday like we meant it. Happily these friends had been there too and I was the beneficiary of his tutelage and their considerable musical talent. It was glorious.


Aaron made a cupcake cake! (I ate most of a 3).



And the next day...was Saturday. Going to bed knowing you can sleep in! Does this sound like the perfect birthday? I think so. Now you may have noticed that something was missing from this day of self-indulgence. I do not feel as though I contributed considerably to the world that day which does seem a bit wrong since so many others were doing so in my honour. However I do believe that people who are happy create positive energy and that does improve the world and I had a very, very happy day. Does that get me off the hook? I also started compiling a list of 33 things I would do to improve the world this year. I'm excited to get started. You are all so inspiring! Have I mentioned I love you?

And the winnah is..........

So that was just lovely. I had the most wonderful day, evening, and weekend thinking and reading about what you all were doing. I am blessed with amazing people to call friends. Did you see this? Did you read this? Did you all read what each other did? If you didn't, you should. It was phenomenal. I really could not have received any better gift and it made me feel sunny all the way through to my cold old bones. You people are just plain good. It soon became very apparent to me that choosing a winner myself would be impossible, so I went the non-emotional robotic route and got the computer to do my dirty work for me.


Just so you know how I went about doing this....I gathered all "report back" posts from the sundry places they had been posted, both on this website and elsewhere, and put them all together under the Feb 6th post. (I counted two comments by a single poster as one. )

I used the random number generator and here is what I got:



Which led me to the conclusion that the winner of the Less Sucky Birthday Then Before sweepstakes is...drrruuuuummmrooolllllllllllll.....



Kallie said...
My neighbor has this awful disorder that requires she be on formula so she can get the nutrients she needs. she is in her first tri. o' pregnancy and even though she was sick as a dog before (with two kids under 3), now she is SICKER than a dog-- can't even take care of her family. She sent a mass email about writing to our state reps to ask them to vote that private insurances be required to cover the cost for this "formula" and i knew i should -- seriously thought about it, then when it became too hard to do and know exactly what to say -- i put it off. (you know when you put things off, sometimes . . .they don't happen) well, i'm going to write my Rep on your birthday. it may be confusing and frustrating, but it will be doing good for my neighbor and the other people of the world who have this disorder. Have a Happy Day!


Yay Kallie! I think you did a great thing and I especially love that it was way out of your comfort zone. I wish your neighbour all the best, and hope that this campaign will result in easing the burden of many people. For your super duper not party pooper prize you shall receive......


A HOLE PUNCH!!!! (Nah, only kidding, I'm just referring to your really pitiful Christmas wish list a couple of years ago. I so hope that you are now the proud owner of a hole punch). I am excited to shop for you tomorrow. I think I know just what I will get. (I'll show the rest of you voyeurs as soon as I have it.. so long as Kallie promises not to peek). Like I said, I don't think I can be restrained from sending a few honourable mention packages too....you just never know.


From the bottom of my heart, thank you again for being such wonderful friends, stellar people and fine citizens of the earth. I love you all.





THANK YOU so much for your participation in my non-sucky birthday sweepstakes. I have absolutely LOVED reading your resolutions and it makes me super happy to know all the wonderful things that will be happening in the world today. Sniff. I am blessed to have you all in my life. PSSST....If anyone did not get their resolution in yet, I would like to mention that my aging eyes probably missed that and I bet you'd still have time to sneak something in :)
Thank you again! The sun is shining! xox

Last call!! Last Call!!

You GUYS! (in my TAMN tone) I am so thrilled by the response to this! They are funny, heartfelt, unique, interesting and fabulous all (with perhaps the exception of The Soxy Pirate's resolution, which I CANNOT condone, however full disclosure requires that I admit to laughing out loud.

ANYWAY. For those who do not wish to wade through all the endless introspection of the last post, and want to get on board before it IS TOO LATE! Here's what you do to enter the
Make Kirsty's Birthday Much Less Sucky Then In Years Past Sweepstakes:

1.Decide on something you are going to do on February 6th to make the world a better place. Your world, the world at large, someone else's world, whatever. Just some conscious act of positivity/contribution (even if that contribution is for yourself).

2. Post about it here before tomorrow. (Be sure to post it on that original blog post if at all possible so as to keep all the entries together.)

3. Come back tomorrow and tell me if you actually did it.

4. Cross your fingers that you win a prize, a gift that will be chosen especially for you. (And if you think that I don't already have a good idea of what I would get each one of you, you sadly underestimate me. Or maybe you think I have a life.)

After much deep thought I have come to the conclusion that I am going to have to draw the winner's name out of a hat or some such random act. If that helps to relieve the pressure to be brilliant and gets you to just DO something, that's great. It also helps me not to ruin my birthday with feverish indecision and people pleasing stress ;)
However, I am getting a premonition that there may be some honourable mentions..and perhaps more then one little package going out because I have been truly touched. Thank you!

Purell...it's not just for staph and stuff anymore


So this one is courtesy of my mom so technically it WFH (works for her)but I trust her implicitly in matters of stains. Yes! Apparently, Purell is an absolutely magical stain remover. It removes the stain (even lipstick, she claims) and does not leave a water-mark on the fabric. I do highly recommend that you test on an inconspicuous area first though.

Since most of us don't always carry some sort of stain remover but there is pretty much always some germaphobe toting a bottle or two of Purell in the vacinity, this is one that is useful to know I think. Thanks ma!

A quick google search revealed another fabulous use for Purell (or the cheap generic substitute we all use). Hair dye stain removal. From your face that is,'cos I know I am not the only one who ends up with those fun little hair dye splashes here there and everywhere. I have not tried this myself but it stands to reason and no harm done if it doesn't work. Just go back to scrubbing ferociously with Cetaphil and staying home for a day or two post dye-job. (Having it done at the salon is so much more pleasant, er expensive er fabulously worth it er prohibitively overpriced isn't it?)

And super important yet quick reminder about the Fabulous February 6th Change the World Sweepstakes. Only 2 more days to declare your intentions! Because trust me, the personalized prize is going to be worth it. That and the whole making the world a better place thing...

The boy knows how to take a hint...



Now I wonder what would make Aaron come home with these last night? If you think they are pretty, you should smell them. Sometimes a blog is just so helpful.

Romancing the ordinary...

Align Center
There is a book I love by Sarah Ban Breathnach (author of Simple Abundance), called Romancing the Ordinary. I find it so inspiring and am always recommending it, but I have not read it for a while. Time for it to go back on the bedside table.

This blog post by Melissa at The Inspired Room, reminded me of the book and of the importance of doing just that-romancing the ordinary. I really believe that everyone should strive to create their own version of romance in their homes. And it doesn't have to be romance in the traditional, romantic comedy movie, chocolates and roses, sense. It's about romancing life itself. I'm talking about our homes romancing us.

We have a finite amount of time here on this earth, with these bodies to enjoy what it has to offer, and I am increasingly aware of what a blessing each day is. We have been blessed with 5 amazing senses and I think that our homes should be our havens and a pleasure to each of our senses. I am very tactile and am a big fan of soft and fluffy fabrics and blankets to cuddle with on the couch in the Winter, and nice cool smooth sheets in the summer. I also have a pretty highly developed sense of smell and my house smelling nice (or not) can have a major effect on my mood and how I feel about my environment. I talked about good music last Wednesday, and although it's not my forte, I do think it is important to be able to create food that is a comfort and pleasure for us and our families to enjoy in our homes.

It does take a little extra effort to create a romantic environment for our senses to enjoy, but it is so worth it. I really think having an orderly living environment that is pleasing to all of our senses can enhance our sense of purpose and self worth. I know that when my house gets out of control, I feel the same way, and I am less likely to be inclined to give much of myself to anyone else, so wrapped up I am in my own little chaotic whirlwind. Having order in our own lives makes us more productive, more excited about life, more kind and service oriented....that is pretty much proven. I know that every time my sister comes to visit, and gets my house in the kind of great shape that really only she can, I feel a new lease on life.

So we have established that order is pretty key to our sense of well-being, but let's examine the senses a little more. Why, when our precious time on this earth is really unknown, do we so often put off indulging them for some undetermined time in the future? Why do we wait for a special occasion to wear the expensive perfume? I am pretty frugal natured but when I was a little girl my granny exhorted me not to save my perfume, she said it evaporated and went bad, and was meant to be enjoyed every day. Over the years I went back to my hoarding perfume-pinching ways. Last year, my always lovely smelling mother gifted me a big bottle of my favourite perfume, and reminded me again to use it and enjoy it every day. (No I don't think it was a hint about any BO issues). So now I don't save my expensive perfume. I use it every day. A little of the good stuff goes a long way actually. Last week one of my lovely girls at church commented, "Sister Sayer you always smell so nice. It is just so refreshing!" So if you are having trouble justifying breaking out the good stuff, remember that you are just doing those around you a service. It doesn't have to be expensive. There are many lotions and potions from Bath and Body Works guaranteed to send everyone around you into swoons of olfactory delight. (Just don't overdo it and send those around you into allergic spasms).

On that note, why don't we indulge in bubble baths more? They are oh so much more rewarding then watching an extra mediocre half an hour of TV, and they make us more relaxed and hence more pleasant to be around-(not to mention they make us, and the bathroom smell delightful). When you think about it, it's really just all about doing service again! Try it tonight if you have not in a while. There is nothing like a hot bubble bath at the end of a long, cold day. Add a magazine that does not mind getting wet, and you will achieve Nirvana.

We hear all the time not to save the good china and linens. I actually think saving some of it for holidays and birthdays is fine, (I have a great sense of occasion), but setting a simple but nice table every night doesn't require breaking out (or breaking) the crystal. We have a fresh tablecloth every night, real plates, serviettes (napkins) and all the cutlery (not just the fork!-that's another rant for another day). I think it goes a long way toward making family dinner time something that our kids can tell we are committed to and invested in. It also encourages people to sit and talk rather then eat and bolt.

I LOVE fresh flowers, seeing them makes me happy every time I walk by them. But again, the frugality kicks in and I often feel that I can't justify them if they aren't out of my own garden or for a special occasion. Today! I resolve to sacrifice something else in order to always have fresh flowers in my home from henceforth. Life is too short not to indulge our senses with these most amazingly pleasing and exquisite of God's creations.

So for me it is the flowers (and oh yes, I suppose doing the laundry would help too), how about you? What are you going to do to romance the ordinary and create a home that reaches out and embraces you with love and affection (or loves you even more then it already does) each time you walk through the door? You totally deserve a house that loves you, you know.

Merry February!

I feel like I should say something profound about love and whatnot, but I am still reeling from how long it took me to change my template into it's fancy new February outfit. Something that has in the past taken a matter of moments, something that SHOULD have taken a matter of moments. It's not like I'm writing code here, we're talking about copying and pasting from a website with the name "cute" in its title. Don't you hate it when for no discernable reason, things that really have no business being troublesome or time consuming suddenly decide to be? I still don't know what was not cooperating but for a while there, things were looking dicey people. You might have been stuck with lime green font and very little else. I'm not going to lie, I was scared....real scared.


I have realized that I don't cope with frustration well. When I expect things will be tough, I'm better, I pace myself, and can be more patient, even stoic (year long labours for instance), but when things don't have any business whatsoever being convoluted, I get absolutely apoplectic with rage at the silliness of it all. I want to commit violence. Fortunately it is my computer I desire to destroy. This type of rage always involves my computer. I don't see myself getting past this any character flaw any time soon. It's pretty deep seated. I guess that's bad. Hmm. Do you think our lives may be better without computers? I ponder this pretty regularly.



Onto other related topics (violence), the bunny hates my husband. We aren't sure why. It's sad because he is really quite devoted to her, avidly reading up about all manner of bunny turn-ons and turn offs online and such, but she has some sort of vendetta ,and I frankly believe she would kill him if she had the power to. I have been avoiding confirming my husband's dark suspicions regarding this fact, not wanting to hurt his feelings. I have been telling him that maybe she actually really, really DID like him and her lunging, growling (ever heard a bunny growl? It's sort of eerie), biting, and penchant for chewing only his shoes, was some sort of elaborate mating ritual. But I think it is time we all faced reality. The bunny hates him. The bunny is the only entity on earth that hates my husband. It's probably a good experience for him. Character building, as my dad would say. Still...something that can hate Aaron. ..it kind of makes you want to sleep with one eye open...



I have goals for February! Do you? Most of mine involve getting the Wii Fit to stop making passive aggressive comments at me. Oh!..I guess you won't make your goal after all! What is up with the "Oh!" about everything? I find it disconcerting when something says "Oh!" in a sweetly alarmed tone when I stand on it.



Actually I have many goals, (you know how I get carried away at the beginning of a month). The first of which is to go to bed at a more wholesome time so I will spare you from hearing about the rest of them. As for you, I know you are feverishly working on something absolutely life/day-changing for February 6th. Right? Can't wait to hear about it!

One week to B-Day....and do I have a gift for YOU




This time next week will be my dreaded birthday. It's not a really significantly awful age or anything, it is just that my birthdays are traditionally so awful in and of themselves, pretty much ever since I became an adult ,(I think it has something to do with moving to the Northern hemisphere and it falling in deepest darkest winter), that it is now a day I actively dread every year. (Stay with me here people, you will be glad you did, this is not my usual whiny birthday post).

Now I loathe my birthday not because I do not have a dear, lovely husband who tries. Oh how he tries. Poor man. I'm sure my birthday conjures up all sorts of anxiety in his gentle heart. I have told the sweet man to please just pretend it is NOT my birthday but he is unable to do that, and if he ever were to manage that, I am sure that I would feel very sad. Somebody is sure to remember it after all, and I then would be reminded of it, and then it would just be lame that my husband was ignoring it. Even though he was told to. And I would be bitter and resentful rather then depressed and forlorn, which is my general b-day mood. Can you tell what a party it is being married to me? It's not that I don't want to be excited, I try I really do, for his sake, but every time he asks me what I want or what I want to do, I experience a faint wave of nausea and a swell of despair. I have never professed to be low-maintenance and issue-free.

So listen peeps, I think I have figured out the problem. It's not good for me to think about myself too much. Not that I am not ordinarily a complete narcissist. Hello, have you met my blog where I write about myself daily? There's just something about a day that is supposed to be all about me and me having a non-stop good time, that is just bound to put me in a bad mood. I think it is because life and the world as we know it, does not exactly revolve around my birthday and so when things that would be a mere annoyance on an ordinary day occur on my birthday, I take it as a personal affront from the universe. Soooo.. I've been thinking and today I thought to myself, SELF! What can we do to make this a less horrific day for us all? And Self replied. I know! I know! Why don't you make it not so much all about YOU??! Brilliant! No?

SO! Since it is indeed better to give then to receive, I have a plan. I will give a pretty little something (no, never you mind what it is, that is a birthday surprise, but rest assured that I am quite a good gift giver. Ok fine, I do not know but that is only because I will tailor the gift to the winner, I don't like to be all generic about these things,) ..where was I? Ok yes, I will give this lovely thing to the person who comes up with the best/most creative/most heartfelt and genuine/funny/makes me cry/or whatever...way to make their little slice of the world (or maybe someone else's slice far away) a little bit better on February 6, 2009. That gives you almost 7 days to think about it and prepare yourself. Here are the............druuuumroolllllll.........

Very Official Rules: (Cos every good contest has very official rules)

1. You must post your resolve on this website before that day.

2. On February 6th if you come back and report back on the follow-through before midnight, you might well be a lucky winner.

Although c',mon! You will be a winner either way! Super duper party not-pooper! I'm so excited! I just can't hide it! Do not let me down here people and be all lame and non-participatory. Can you imagine how bummed I would be about my birthday if that happened??! Can you EVEN IMAGINE???

Rest assured that you don't have to provide drinking water for sub-Saharan Africa at large. It can be as small as getting through a morning without snapping at your kids (this is considered a major feat in my world), or calling your granny if you don't do so regularly, or volunteering somewhere, or getting to the gym if you don't ordinarily (trust me, this improves your health and your sense of well-being and that totally improves the world around you). Be creative! Be genuine! Or whatever! Just do something positive that you would not do on the average day! So let's recap: as long as you can tell me how you think it will improve the world in some way (before Feb 6), and you follow through , and tell me about that too (on Feb 6), you are eligible to win and win big. Ok maybe not big, but pleasant. It will definitely be a pleasant win. Cool? YAY!!! I can't WAIT for my birthday now!

Those of you who follow anonymously, and have yet be introduced, this is the perfect time to reveal yourself. I am so excited to meet you. Those of you who are my friends (if you have ever commented here I consider you a soul mate) and you do not participate..so help me.....(*insert the scary, staring, quivery with rage face I do to my kids when they are misbehaving while I am on the phone, here.)

So it turns out my parents DID have us just to be their slaves....

Did you ever tell your parents that? When they heartlessly forced you to work your fingers to the bone, making your bed, feeding the dog and so forth? I probably did not have the courage to say it outright (did I mom?) but I muttered it under my breath and thought it alllllll the time. Yes mom, I did.

And now my kids say it to me, and I have always thought that this was sooooo hilarious. Yeah kid, me asking you to put away your laundry totally compensates for me doing the laundry, feeding, cleaning, bathing, puke catching, bum wiping, nose wiping, nine months of morning sickness and years of labour (of the birthing variety- yes years. Seriously, my kids take their sweet time down the birth canal and they also tend to love to hang out there for hours in transition -between 8-10 cms- while I have un-medicated contractions 45 seconds apart. Good times. ) So YEAH kid, that's exactly why I had you. So that you could make the bed that would not even exist if I had not had you.

Anyway, ever since my kids have been old enough to make this ludicrous claim, I have occasionally wondered if maybe, just perhaps the same was true of my own parents, and they weren't opportunistic little child-slave drivers after all. I was juuuust starting to let my parents off the hook when this conversation took place today:

Aaron: (my husband, for the uninitiated): "So this is how it is going to go tonight guys! I need 2 kids to set the table and unload the dishwasher, and I need 2 kids to clear the table and load the dishwasher."
Me: (chiming in enthusiastically) Yes! And I need one kid to vacuum the living room and sweep the dining room while the other teams are doing their thing.
Aaron: (does not miss a beat) and that would take 5 kids and we only have four.
Me: Oh man, that's right! Dammit.

See, that is our motivation! Deep in our hearts we procreate just for the free maid service. Clearly we have entered a new phase of life here. I guess my babies are really growing up. They are big enough to be my servants now. Awwww.... Awesome



Culturizing ur kidz


When I was growing up we were regularly exposed to classical music. There was nothing high-brow or pretentious about it, it was just that my parents enjoyed certain classical pieces and played them often, consequently we loved them too. I remember one of my brother's earliest words yelled from his car-seat being "Dvorak!". As he demanded to hear more of the New World Symphony.

(Not for nothing but my brother ended up being quite academically brilliant and musically talented.Also, good looking.)

I, like most earnest first time mothers of the time, totally bought into the Mozart Effect theory, and diligently exposed my first-born to classical music from the womb. (I also made him listen to his French, Russian, Chinese, German and Spanish tapes every single day as a baby), I would have totally scared myself if I knew myself back then.

My first-born is indeed brilliant, and seems reasonably musical, but so are my second, third and fourth born (and I am of course, completely un-biased), who as you might have guessed, did not have as rigorous an education courtesy the One Step Ahead catalogue. (I do seem to remember watching numbly as kid number 3 unraveled the language tapes so that I could have 2 minutes of peace).

My point is that exposing your kids to classical music when they are young, in an attempt to raise their IQ can't hurt, but there are other even more compelling reasons to do so. I remember as a teenager coming home from boarding school on the weekends. My sweet boyfriend at the time would often accompany me and both of us would find great respite and peace in the classical music only policy my parents had on Sundays. It was such a pleasant break from the non-stop barrage of rock/pop/rap/reggae/metal/house/etc/etc music we were exposed to all week long (all at the same time!).

I still tend to play classical music to the exclusion of anything else when I am in a particularly stressful phase of life.

Having some sort of familiarity and appreciation for classical music can enrich a child's life for the rest of their lives. It opens a whole new world to them. I think it's really helpful to expose them to it early, when they have no pre-conceived ideas about it, and can grow to love it on their own terms in a very real and uncontrived way.

I'm not a music teacher or educator, so take my comments for what they are are worth, but something I enjoy doing with my youngest (aged four) who is still my trusty sidekick for most of the day, is to tune into NPR as we are driving, and then have him tell me what is going on in the music. He enthusiastically weaves all sorts of tales as the piece plays. There is inevitably a prince, princess and evil witch involved. He listens really carefully for changes in the music and his story lines are always appropriate to the music. He seems to understand the change in emotion and mood when a minor key comes along, and the different personalities different instruments can have. He recently added a horse into the mix, to what really was a very galloping portion of the music. I was quietly jubilant.

It's something we both enjoy, and a way for us to interact when we're in the car, while exposing him to something I hope he will develop a love and appreciation for. It's easy, and fun and natural and that works for me.

Notes from Benjamin Zander

I mentioned that I was lucky enough to attend a lecture by this remarkable man on January 20th. He gave up an invitation to the Inauguration (it's true, he even showed it to us, it was fancy), to come and speak in small town Ohio. Clearly he is insane. But gloriously so.

I am going through some papers and found some of the notes I scrawled on a program (why do I always forget my lovely little journal for things like these?).


Out of context many of them lose their oomph or even become incomprehensible but here are a few that stand well even on their own.


When you are comparing yourself to others, remind yourself, "I am a contribution". I loved this. He told the tale of how he spent his whole childhood feeling inadequate when his dad would ask him and his siblings what they did that day. He knew it meant, "what did you achieve this day" and compared to his siblings he felt that he was a chronic underachiever. Until one day he changed the framework of his thinking to, "I am a contribution". To this world, we are each a contribution. What we contribute has nothing to do with what those around us contribute. This has helped me on days when I have not felt as if I achieved as much as I set out to. I think about what I have contributed, and it is always quite a bit more then I first realize.

Should, ought, need, must, blame, threat, control are all words of the downward spiral


How about, what if, what's next are all words of radiating possibility.


le #6: Don't take yourself so d*mn seriously. (There are no other rules)



I will never say anything that could not stand as the last thing I ever say.



Human beings in the presence of possibility have shining eyes.
As a leader you may need to ask yourself, "who am I being that my players eyes are not shining?"



A conductor does not make a sound. His job is to awake possibility in others.



Give people an "A" right from the beginning, and the relationship will be transformed. If the relationship has broken down, you have not given that person an "A". Only when you genuinely give the person an A (believe that they are worth one, care about them as though they are an A), can you tell them the truth (when the truth is a painful one ;)



We don't give children a name as an expectation to live up to, but as a possibility to live into.



You cannot learn anything without mistakes.



If people won't do what you want them to do, apologize for not making them want to.



We should get into the habit of asking ourselves, "what assumptions am I making that I don't know I am making?" Every organization must have a person who is empowered to point out assumptions without fear of retribution.



There is no problem that cannot be solved if you create a new framework to look at it in.



Every interaction is a possibility for leadership.

And one more, about the type of man his father, a Holocaust survivor, was. After he went blind he never complained, but was often heard to remark, "I hear particularly well these days"

Here's a link to his book again and one of his lectures.


Receiving what we already have




I recently re-connected with my lovely friend Heather (seen here with me as we snatched an hour together in a scenic Mesa food court during my whirl-wind wedding trip a few weeks ago). Heather has published a book and has several CD's out which everyone I know can benefit from. Go check out her website. In addition, she has launched an interactive blog recently on which I discovered this little gem tonight. I loved the whole article for so many reasons,(I think almost every parent can relate to the screaming, inconsolable 4am wake up call), but the truth of this paragraph leaped out at me especially resoundingly tonight:

For several weeks, I had been preparing to give a talk on abundance, and this moment, revelation hit me. The first step in creating abundance is to receive what you already have. I glanced at the clock. 5:17. Fatigue pulled at my eyelids, but I was determined to capture what I had experienced and went directly to my computer to write.

All my life I had been in search of more—truth, money, relationships, health, beauty, order, to name a few. With my eyes fixed so intently on the future, I was often missing what was already mine. What I had experienced that this morning, in an unexpected way, was a the reservoir of abundance. The irony is that, all along, this has been right in front of me, but I had been missing it. This morning, I found it in just being with my daughter. None of my action was a means to an end. I wasn’t cleaning, making food, or trying to teach her something. I was existing next to her in a state of presence. In those moments, a space opened for me and I received what I already had.


I believe that this is the perfect sentiment to take into February, with its theme of all things heart related. The talk of the town lately seems to be scarcity. Jobs are scarce, money is scarce, peace of mind seems to be scarce. I do truly believe though, that each of us are blessed with an abundance, perhaps yet to be truly discovered, that has nothing to do with the economy, and everything to do with us merely making room for it in our consciousness, our spirits and our hearts. A timely reminder for me. I hope it helps you too!

In which I score big points with my kids' school teachers and principal

We heard that my profound commentary, gleaned as me and my truant kids watched the inauguration, had been printed in the local paper. It is certainly something posterity will treasure forever.

Kirsty Sayer, a mother of four, said she brought her kids to the Cla-Zel to let them witness history. As a mother, Sayer said she wanted her kids to remember the event and learn something from it. "This is probably the most historic event in their lifetime," she said. "It's much more important than anything they could have learned in school today."

Um, yeah. At least they did not print the part where I said, "and if their teachers have a problem with that they can just suck it up". Or the part about we go wherever there is free food.

Not really.

Actually, I think they sort of jammed a few of my gushing quotes together and they left the part where I mentioned the words "civics lesson" (to make it sound legit), out. And lest you think I am too hopelessly swept away by Obama-mania, I really do think my kids are going to have many historic events to enjoy in their lifetime, but this was certainly the best so far :)

Gracie days


Gracie as you know, turned the itchy 7 this week. Her birthday this year reminded me of her Birth Day. The sun was shining (shockingly enough) reminiscent of the day she was born in the SF Bay Area of Northern California. It was a sunny, mellow day too. Just as it was this year. Although it was about 40 degrees warmer in CA that day. On her Birth Day I went for a walk with my doula in the late afternoon in the hills of my neighbourhood. As I walked, soaking up the golden sunlight, I encouraged to tuck her chin down, and get into to a nice launch-off position so that we could get this show on the road. She was surprisingly obliging after I made that request, and came fairly quickly (and forcefully) after that.

Today I encourage her to keep her chin high as she makes her way through life, and I watch as she does. She has already displayed a great amount of tenacity, character, and integrity in her seven short years of life. She is tender and demonstrative and loving and mysterious and reserved rolled up into one artistic little soul. I can't believe that it has been 7 years. Really that is bizarre. In this time over again, she will going to church dances. Ridiculous. She is just an infant. See?





Here are some more photos of her big day and the subsequent Bunny Birthday Bash which I must clarify refers to her bunny inspired birthday party theme and not acts requisite of an ASPSCA intervention. If you wish to get a full feel for these glittering events, and I know you absolutely do, you can check them out here:






Yes, apparently there are times when the cupcake cake doesn't translate as well as at others. And how much did I care at this point? About . that much.

Optimism

What I am suggesting and asking is that we turn from the negativism that so permeates our society and look for the remarkable good in the land and times in which we live, that we speak of one another's virtues more than we speak of one another's faults, that optimism replace pessimism, that our faith exceed our fears.

When I was a boy our father often said to us:

Cynics do not contribute.

Skeptics do not create.

Doubters do not achieve.

~ Gordon B. Hinckley (Let Not Your Heart Be Troubled)


Gracie says...



YES! 7!!!









Cleaning your disgusting keyboard without taking it apart and having to get a new one



So from the sublime to the...less sublime.

You know how old fashioned computer keyboard keys (like the keys on our dinosoaur desktop) just pop off when you need to clean them and underneath them. (And it's all fun and games until somebody forgets which order the numbers go back in that one time when she was an intern, and helpfully cleaned her bosses keyboard. But we won't talk about that today)

Well the lap-top ones don't.


Which is unfortunate. And really, really gross.

Particularly if you have 4 kids taking care of their menagerie of Webkinz on your computer. After lunch. Without washing their hands first. Or perhaps even eating a sandwich (or 6) over your computer when they thought you weren't looking. (Cos you weren't).

Also a problem if you have a penchant for fluffy blankets to wrap around your frail and freezing self as you sit on the couch at 1:10 am instead of sleeping sensibly in your warm bed next to your warm husband. The fluff...it seems to have set up a little Fluff Club Med under the shift key and the number 8. Shift 8. Prime Fluff property, apparently. Who knew.

Yes, ok ok I am getting to the solution. And a lovely, obvious and cheap and strangely satisfying little solution it is. I saw it the one time I got to watch non-kid TV one morning when granny was visiting. The tip lady on some perky morning show whipped out a pad of post-it's and mesmerized me (and granny) as she slid them along under the row of keys and retrieved little clumps of dust.

Genius! No lifting off of impossible to replace keys. No buying those expensive little cans of air blasting stuff. Just slide the post it along, pull it out and make yourself a new blanket or a stuffed animal or something else soft and fuzzy from what you find in there. Alternatively, you could feed a small African nation with the crumbs you haul out. (Thanks kids! Food storage! Awesome!)

If you don't have post-its handy any sticky label type thing will do. I used the sticky edge of a book of stamps...just as grossly yet satisfyingly effective.

Sublime


Today! What a day! It has been an amazing, magical inspiring day. A day that doesn't feel quite real because it really has been so different from any other day I have ever had, it's one of those stand alone days in the history of me.

The day started with all four of my kids snuggled in bed with me, watching for the Obamas to emerge from Blair House. Obama=not so much punctual. Hey! He's just like us, kids!

As we got ready to attend the Inaugural party and I was forced to be away from the TV for whole minutes at a time, in order to make these truly wicked brownies (yet another sublime experience this day), they gave me blow by blow descriptions. Benjamin took it upon himself to draw this and stick it up on the door. I only noticed it when we left the house and it made me smile all the way through me. Indeed it has.



A few people I know have expressed that they don't see what the big deal this day is. That it has been overblown, that we have all been swept away on some sort of media band-wagon and why should this inauguration get any more attention then any other.

Hey, it is a free country, and they have every right to express that opinion. but this is my blog right? So may I please admit, that this has frustrated me? Deeply? HOW can anyone not see what a huge deal this is? It has changed the identity of an entire race not just in this country but across the world, forever. A glass ceiling that has always existed has been shattered. Slavery, bigotry, hatred, segregation, the continuing feelings of isolation, of being on the outside looking in, until today, there has been no real closure on them. Not like this. No black person has ever achieved the highest political office that this country (and arguably the world), has to offer. Don't think this is a big deal? Try being a little black boy who was not allowed in a restaurant to eat dinner with your parents, and watching on this day as a black man and his wife walked into the White House, and took over. This is not ancient history, this is the experience of people not too much older then me. All within one short lifetime! This. Is. Huge. So at first, yes I felt frustrated, even outraged. How could anyone be so insensitive as to claim this was no big deal?

I frankly feel that if you are not black you don't really have the right to say how big a deal this is. I'm not black, but trust me, even this white South African girl knows- it's big. It's huge. Look at the faces out on the mall today. This is not just not a fad, this is transformational. It changes everything for these people, and by extension for us all.

Here's some reaction from my fellow South Africans


Now I am not so naive as to think that this fixes everything. Racism is alive and well. African-Americans will continue to be discriminated against by racists. That is a sad reality. But something like this gives the successful 50 year old black man, who was denied admission in that restaurant as a little boy, the man who admits that despite all that he has achieved, he never truly believed this day could ever come, that this thing could ever be achieved, a whole new perspective on what is possible in this world. And it gives a 32 year old white woman a whole new perspective on what is possible too. And speaking just for myself here, that's a big deal.

Tonight, after this glorious day, the outrage, frustration and confusion about this what's the big deal? mind-set has faded to more of a sense of sorrow for those who could not participate in this day with a sense of wonder. Who did not get to watch it with the sense of how truly miraculous and special it has been. There are so few experiences like this in life, this may have been a once in a lifetime moment, what a loss to have missed it! Does that sound condescending? I suppose it depends on where you are coming from when you read it, but please know that I am genuine, I don't think I am better then you are. I just wish everyone could have felt the joy and wonder that so many felt today. You know how it is when you want to share something wonderful you have experienced with everyone else? It's just that. Less of the righteous indignation of earlier, and more of a yearning. It's progress anyway.

But anyway, back to ME. This is all about me after all, and my feelings. My lovely, warm and fuzzy, happy, amazed, sublime, anything is possible and the world is so good, and let's all just cuddle one another, feelings.

We watched the inauguration with others who had worked hard in our community to help make this happen. There was an awesome energy in that old theatre. I am so glad my kids got to be there. Someday when they tell their therapists how awful I was in every single way, I hope that they remember this day, and say, "but I guess there was that one time she was pretty cool and let us stay off school so we could see Obama's inauguration. Yeah, I saw it, you were doing a worksheet? Oh. I'm sorry." Or at least that is my fantasy.



Finny was not feeling well and spent most of the time snoozing heavily in my numb arms , I spent most of the time dripping tears on his head. He did not seem to mind. He even slept through all the cheering and clapping. Another miracle in our time.


This blurry shot is the closest I have ever seen Obama to tears, (or that is how I interpreted his expression, there was some sort of strong emotion going on there) walking towards the inauguration stage. I wonder what he was thinking. I truly cannot imagine not having a massive panic attack right about then. You have got to be wired differently to go for this gig, man.


And THEN, THEN! Just as today could not get any more inspiring, I got to see another of my heroes in action. A year ago or so I received a book called The Art of Possibility as a gift just after I was called to a leadership position and was doing a little bit of the freaking out.

The friend who gave it to me has always been an example (and somewhat of an enigma) of serenity and chill-ness to me. So I read it. It was another one of those transformational experiences. The same friend who gifted me the book called me last night to offer me tickets to see the author speak tonight. Well twist my arm. Aaron and I went and...wow. What an evening. It was the most perfect, inspiring, exhilarating, and utterly appropriate ending to this remarkable day. Living within endless possibility. Is there any other way to truly be alive? I think not. If you have a few minutes I would highly recommend tuning in. You won't even have to pay a sitter. (Which would be totally worth it btw)

Did I mention that I loved this day? Well, I really, really did. Here's to many more impossible dreams being fulfilled and infinitely more people inspired. Yay this day!