Fooling Around With My Husband...

{I'm almost certain I've told this story before, (I remember the comments even!) but a cursory check of my haphazardly labeled archives turned up nothing....so much for ye Olde Cutte & Paste. Oh well, it's worth the repost.}

What I am about to share with you is the delightful tale of when I tricked my husband (oh, but good), one fateful April Fools Day, turning him into a laughing stock at the office to boot. Ahhh, good times.

I am a compulsive liar joker. Some people (particularly men,) are somewhat unnerved by me because (amongst several other reasons I suspect,) they "never know when you're serious."

All this to say that my husband, after almost 14 years of marriage, is now wise to me and does not even do a double take when I flash a red Sharpie amended "positive" pregnancy test at him anymore. Bummer. However on one glorious Spring day a couple of years ago, when his guard was (foolishly) down, I had my moment.

At about 10am on April 1st, I called him at work and engaged him in some disarming chitchat. Then I lowered my tone into one of hushed urgency, "Aaron, this guy called and he said he needed to speak to you immediately. It sounded really serious, please call him right away and let me know, because I am stressing over what it could be!"

Aaron, being the obliging and obedient fellow he is, agreed to call promptly. I gave him the phone number of the local Zoo and told him to ask for "Mr. Lyon" (I even spelled it for him with the misleading "y" -ha! I have a criminal's eye for detail, folks).

And this is how it went down:

He called the Zoo, and dutifully asked for Mr. Lyon. He was informed that no such individual was available. He pressed them, "are you sure? I am returning his call, he said it was very urgent". A pause. Finally the resigned voice replied dead-pan, "Sir, this is the Zoo, it is April 1st, someone has fooled you".

Here's the best part, gentle reader:

My sweet, guileless, (momentarily) trusting husband then called me in great indignation to inform me that we had been tricked! It was only when my apoplectic laughter caused me to snort (in a genteel manner), that he finally....finally cottoned on.

"YOU!", he gasped aghast with shock and outrage. He had been had, and it was by she to whom he was wed. His sweet and loving wife, the very one!

His workmates still call him Mr. Lyon. One guy went so far as to call in a growly voice, identifying himself as Mr. Tiger.

*Happy sigh*....It was awesome. I wonder if he would fall for it again this year.....sadly probably not. But you should definitely try it, I bet it works for you too.

Happy April!

All about my day away from the computer. By Kirsty, age 33

So like I mentioned, it was brilliant. I am officially a fan. Unfortunately the withdrawal effects were not as fascinating as I anticipated, because that could have made for an awesome docudrama or maybe something on 60 minutes about blog addiction in housewives....
No such luck though. So......

These are the things I discovered:

1. I spend a stupid amount of time online
2. It is better when I don't
3. My house could be clean all the time (well...cleaner)
4. I could get far more accomplished then I do
5. I drift over to the computer for no real reason quite often..(I believe that is a sign of addiction)

These are thing things I resolved.
1. I will spend no more then 1 hour online per day (including the time it takes to post blog entries).
2. I will not be on the computer when my children or husband are around (this gives me a 2.5 hour window in the afternoon. I'm not sure what it will mean for the Summer. (May have to reassess for the sake of sanity then.)
3. I will not fill the empty time with similarly unproductive activities (TV/reading).

I am so grateful for this little experiment. I honestly felt such a sense of relief and freedom knowing I couldn't go online. If there was email to be dealt with, it would have to wait, no blog entries could be made that day, it felt like such a break. It is also amazing how quickly things regain their proper perspective and priority when you take even a little breather like that.

Now don't get me wrong, I love the internet for all the reasons I outlined here, and I really love my blog and all the blogs I follow. I just don't want writing about my life, to crowd out me living my life. I don't want my kids to remember me saying "uh-huh...coool" vaguely from behind a computer screen. People may enjoy reading my blog but they won't remember it, the way my kids and husband will remember what they may have missed out on because of it. Ack. I don't want to waste any more of this very short and precious time I have with my children. (Double ack)

I loved what Melissa at the Inspired Room had to say about this, here.

So.. this is what I got done:

Thoroughly cleaned 4 rooms downstairs (the wall washing, crevice of the dining room chairs with a skewer type of cleaning). Did a little redecorating, did some laundry . Went grocery shopping, prepared food for a party, hosted a party, volunteered at the library, watched a friends' delicious baby, played with my fabulous four year old, hung out with my family, gave my full focus to a movie I was watching with my husband (until I passed out-he said I didn't miss anything), and..well I know there was more but you're probably over it by now. Suffice to say it was more then I would have done if I had been off and on the computer all day.

I am thoroughly excited to see what I will accomplish tomorrow! I really feel like I gain so much inspiration and knowledge from the blogs I follow, but this will give me so much more time to actually implement all that inspiration! Cool!

To be honest I probably would not have signed back on this weekend at all, but I had to check my email for a function on Saturday night, announce the big prize winner(!) and write my birthday tributes. We are dependent on the internet, this is true. If it had been an ordinary weekend I probably would not have got back on at all which leads me to one more resolution: Internet free weekends. I'm going to try. I may still schedule weekend posts, but I'm going to try to stay away from keyboard. We'll see how that goes. I am hoping my blog won't change much. Keeping it up is a priority for me, just not my main one. I will just have to be more focused about my internet time.

Did anyone else participate? Did you love it/hate it/feel indifferent to it? If you didn't do you think you will try it anytime? I wanna know! Thanks to Kimba for the great idea. I needed it!

Fabulous Followers Friday-(on a Monday)

So this is how I did it. I used the handy dandy random. org number generator. I stuck in 1 and 60. I came up with 11.

I went to the square I counted from the top left across until I got to square number 11. I clicked on it. Lo and behold... 'twas the square of the woman who has Changed her name to Mommy. (If it is no longer that square it is because they shuffle around, it was when I was doing the choosing. Ok? We cool?)

Coincidentally, I just read a rather hilarious post on her site earlier this evening and made many a shameful confession in the comments so you will want to hustle right over and read all of that.

Congratulations Person who has changed her name to Mommy! I will be contacting you and we'll have an especially chosen just for you gift on it's way to you super soon! Thanks for being a follower/fan/fake fan! I appreciate it!

Wheeeee this is fun!!
Want to be eligible for the next follower/fan/fake fan giveaway? Just become a "follower" (under if you are awesome and you know it). I totally predict it will be you next time.

What can you say about a girl called Shona?

* To be sung, with gusto, to the tune of "What do you do with a drunken sailor?"

What can you say about a girl called Shona?
What can you say about a girl called Shona?
What can you say about a girl called Shona?
On her 39th birthday?

Pretty, accomplished and quite brilliant
Organized, witty, and so talent-ed
Kind and lovely, generous to bo-ot
On her 39th birthday!

Comes to visit me in Ohi-o
Freezes her butt off, cleans my hou-se
Takes my kids to Chuck E Che-ese
(But not on her 39th birth-day.)

To my sweetie she's a dahling
To my Eddy she's my Patsy
If you don't get this, go watch Ab-Fab
On her 39th birth-day

She has lived the whole world over
An adventurer and a rover
Now she lives Do-wn Un-der
On her 39th birth-day

She makes me laugh until I pe-ee
She makes me laugh until I whe-eze
She makes me laugh 'til I beg stop-Ple-ase
I'll call her for her 39th birth-day

What can you say about a girl called Shona?
She's my sister I'm proud to sa-ay
I hope everything goes her wa-ay
On her 39th birth-day!

(Shona with her adoring, lookalikes- niece and nephew)

Kisses Dahling, have some Bollies for me right Dahling, right? Happy birthday sweetie, you're looking fabulous sweetie, you look like an absolute infant dahling, it's really rather obscene sweetie really it is... you certainly look better then bloody Saffy dahling, I mean dahling really, she could be your mother sweetie, your ancient maiden grand-auntie even dahling... Anyway, kisses right dahling.. must go but loves and snugs, right sweetie..? I'd better bloody be living there for your next bloody birthday right dahling, ok sweetie?! Get Bubble on that pronto dahling..right sweetie.. Kisses!!!! *clink* (thud)
xoxo

36 (of the 10000's of things) I love about Aaron

1. To be happy he only needs those he loves to be happy and he works hard to make them that way, so he is almost always happy.

2. He cooks more often then I do

3. He cleans with a smile

4. He never holds a grudge and he doesn't keep score.

5. He is my rock. Always.

6. He is a devoted, gentle, loving and fun daddy

7. He has no enemies. I have had so many people tell me that he is the nicest person they have ever met. I must agree.

8. He is a brilliant scientist but you would never know it.

9. He makes me laugh every day.

10. He gets me.

11. He loves my family and puts up with any drama when we get together.

12. He has never acted distant toward me, even if we have just had an argument.

13. His faith is quiet and completely solid.

14. He genuinely likes people and gives everyone the benefit of the doubt.

15. He is good to my friends and loves them as I do.

16. He is a good provider for our family.

17. He sacrifices without being a martyr

18. He has a great work ethic and integrity.

19. He is generous to a fault and never complains if I give more then we can afford to.

20. He is sleep deprived from staying up late to hang with me and getting up early so he can be with us all earlier in the evening, but he never whines about it.

21. He thanks me for things I didn't even realize I did.

22. He is my greatest fan.

23. He sees my dark side (pretty regularly) and loves me despite it.

24. He recounts cute stories about the kids with just the right intonations and imitation.

25. He respects my decision and desire to stay home with my kids and considers my contribution equal to his.

26. He does not understand the concept of "women's work".

27. He never takes out his stress on anyone else.

28. He does not sweat the small stuff.

29. He looks for reasons to celebrate.

30. He laughs a lot

31. He is genuinely humble

32. He can fix things.

33. He will work tirelessly to find a solution to a problem I have long since given up on, and gone to bed in despair over. And he almost always does.

34. He does not have to be right, and he has no interest in getting the credit.

35. He is romantic and brings me flowers for no reason.

36. He makes me know every single day that I am as loved by him and as beautiful to him as I was the day we got married.

Happy birthday Pooh! I love you!

Drrrrruuuuumroollllllll please!!....

It deeply pains me not to be able to give the prize package to each one of you. I loved your comments and discovering so many hilarious, fun and informative new blogs in the process, but alas, only one could win.

And that one oh-so-super lucky winner was.....

Leo's Mom of the blog Life with Leo

She said,

"You are hilarious, I'm so glad I found you! If I'm the super-lucky winner, I'd love "tressie" and can I just say that Almond Pound Cake is my absolute favorite from Tastefully Simple! Anyway, I love spring because here in Phoenix, that's the best time to go to the park before it gets too darn hot. Thanks!"

I like you Leo's mom and your entry was pretty perfect, (even though it was chosen through the random number generator). You stroked my ego, endorsed my friends' products, and obediently followed the what you like best about Spring rules. Thus it is my pleasure to award you the magnficent prize package! A chatterbook from Laura at Happy2Scrap (go pick the word you like best!) and the Tressie pack to complete it, will soon be on its way to you. Also, the Tastefully Simple yummies from Claire Goberman of Tastefully Simple, (I am still licking my chops after sampling everything at our party last night-I loooooove the almond cake beyond words too, we must be soulmates), the CHOCOLATE, and the Amazon Gift Certificate.

Leo's mom, I hope you enjoy it all and that you become my BFF, because, dang girl that's one heck of a prize package! Congratulations! (not that I believe in bribing people to become my friend although clearly I do)

You know, I'm liking this giving stuff away thing. I am excited to pick from my followers/fans/fake fans on Monday. Will it be you? Yes, probably.

Also I want to report on my day of Unplugged-ness later. But here is a hint. I LOVED IT. (No offense internets, I love you too, but seriously, it rocked and I am thinking that needs to happen a whole lot more regularly..but more on that later).

Tomorrow, March 29th is Aaron's birthday. Tomorrow will also be my sister Shona's birthday, but not really. Hers is actually on the 30th, but it is the 30th in Australia when it is the 29th here, so they can call and wish each other happy, happy and it works out very conveniently. (Just trying to find the silver lining of having family who live in not just different time zones but different DATE zones. Sheesh.)

So listen lovelies....

Tomorrow I am going to be Unplugging in solidarity with the movement you see here to your left, as we discussed here.

I am ghoulishly interested to see how the withdrawal will affect me. I'm wondering if it's going to be more of the twitching and frothing, or heavier on the crying and the begging, maybe the glassy eyed staring, or perhaps, the rocking and the tuneless humming? It is possible we're looking at an all day fetal position situation. Ohhhh....*rubs hands together with glee*..it is going to be interesting.

This means that the ULTIMATE WINNER will only be announced on Saturday. I know, I know, but think of it as an exercise in self-control and delayed gratification. It also means that there will be no Friday for my Fabulous and Faithful Followers to be rewarded (eeps). On the upside this gives the rest of you casual clickers the chance to jump in on that action. So what say we get a little crazy and move that happy event to Monday? It can be Marvelous Monday for my faithful followers instead. Not quite the alliterative event I was hoping for but it will do. Excellent!

More things to come back for: Photos of my new kitchen! A report on how I survived The Unplugging (assuming of course that I do survive the unplugging), including what I managed to accomplish! Pretty pictures of the Springy things growing in my garden! And... some other awesome stuff which I will come up with during all that empty unplugged time!

Also, tomorrow night I am having a Tastefully Simple party for my sweet dear friend Claire (she is donating some of the goods to our Ultimate Prize Package too. And hey, if that link does not take you directly to her site enter: Claire Goberman for the consultant name).

If you are in the area, and we have you know, met, and yet I failed to invite you, it is not because I do not like you, because I do, oh so much! Truly! It is because I have a raging case of Adult Attention Deficit Disorder (what's the latest on Octomom btw? and also, it is not so much Spring weather today-shoot, anyone got a good chocolate croissant recipe??) so e- mail me for the deets and then come on dooooooown. Because there will be food. And....well really, do I need to say much more? If you aren't in the area and you wish to procure some yummies too, (because you don't like to be left out of stuff, and it's completely awesome), let me know, I shall hook you up. And I will do it with a smile.

So that's the scoop. Unless I come up with something else between now and midnight I shall bid you a teary Adieu and see you soon...xoxo

And OH! If you are hoping to be the winner of the Ultimate Prize Package, there is still time ('til 11:50pm Friday 27th). Just click HERE. I am totally rooting for you.

Meditate on these things....

I'm talking about meditation as it pertains to our spirituality, and ways to sneak it into your day, over at Modern Molly Mormons today.

Only two days left for a chance to win my Ultimate Blog Party prizes! Click Here!

Taking on Mt. Papier

I have considered home-schooling my children just so that we would not have to deal with the absolute mounds of paper that come through the door every day. Add that to bills, forms, catalogues and procreating paper I seem to generate all by my little self (with some help from my doting husband), together with my tendency to be sentimental (read: my gut wrenching urge to preserve every picture, love-note , card and scribble for posterity), and those little mole-hills become mountains literally overnight.

It can be daunting. Even for experienced climbers. You may need oxygen, not so much due to the altitude as the hyperventilating that ensues when you contemplate dealing with it all. So you operate in a state of denial, pretend not to see it, and it grows, and grows into a foreboding and craggy heap, just waiting to become a landslide which would surely bury any pets or small child unlucky to be in the path of it's avalanche.

So what do you do when your office/kitchen/dining room table/couch is buried in paper clutter and your heart and will to conquer it is failing you?
This is what you do, chickadee:
1. Get yourself a sturdy shopping bag. Paper, plastic, canvas, anything will do so long as it is nice and strong.

2. Sweep all the papers into the bag. Do not separate the insurance forms from the old preschool calendar. THIS IS NOT THE TIME FOR SORTING.
Stop that! Stop that right now!

3. Admire the lovely clean and clear space. Ahhhh nice. Spin in your office chair, run your hand across your smooth desk. Invite the family to eat at the dining table. Now then, don't you feel stronger and more authoritative already? Who is the boss? YOU are the boss! Say it! Say it louder!

4. Sit down to watch your favourite show on TV. Next to you will be your paper filled bag. To your other side will be your recycling receptacle and or your shredder. If you have a portable filing system, it will be cuddled up somewhere close too. Grab some chocolate. May as well make this a party.

5. Take out ONE (1) piece of paper at a time. More then likely it will be trash, so trash it. Try to be ruthless, ask yourself:

• would I save this in a fire?
• If I were moving, would I like to move this piece of paper?
• Can I take a photo of this piece of paper instead of keeping it (this is a nice option for large pieces of artwork)

Here are the Rules:
Do not take out the next piece of paper until that one is dealt with. You can have only one piece of paper out of the bag at a time! Once it is out of the bag you must do something with it. You may only touch each piece of paper once. If that means that you have go to the bathroom still clutching that Target receipt, so be it. Let that be your motivation to get rid of it already.

If you get sick of dealing with the paper, stop, put the bag neatly in a place you will be likely to see it and take it up again the next time Grey's is on.

Now don't be freaking out over the fact that it is just sitting there not being dealt with. It was just as mixed up and un-dealt with all teetering in the pile on your desk. Now at least you have a calm and uncluttered environment, so that you can focus and be the boss. The good news is that if you don't get back to your paper bag any time soon and a frantic search through it's contents does not ensue for weeks and weeks, then chances are nothing in there was that important and if you are feeling particularly ruthless one day you can just close your eyes and toss it all. I promise you that the world will not end. (if you have an inkling there is a Social security card or your child's first footprint in there somewhere, I would not recommend this approach, otherwise I would.)

The thing about the paper monster is that once it starts gaining momentum, it magnetically attracts all sorts of other junk to it, and before you know it, you have a huge mess on your hands. It must be tamed. Happily the opposite is also true-if you start with the paper, contain it, and show it is who is boss you will have the strength to deal with any other mess and really, it will be a piece of cake. Go get it girl! With you and your shopping bag side-kick, paper does not stand a chance.







For prizes galore, check out my Ultimate Blog Party Post right here! (Prizes galore, I say!)


Images courtesy:
www.sterlingbio.com/suretrial_overview.htm
www.oneofakindshow.com/blog/?p=16
paper monster
www.catchingfireflies.com

Haiku(s )for Luke

Today is my brother Luke's birthday. (That's him there, the manly stud with the pink shirt to my right) Last year, as I am sure you all remember with much fondness and awe, I broke into my illustrious career in poetry in honour of his birthday, with a poem of astounding genius. This year I am branching out yet further. Behold! The first haiku's I have ever attempted. I decided to try a new form of poetry which I (very) recently invented, called "speed haiku" wherein you write haiku's yes, you guessed it, with speed and inaccuracy. (I will therefore thank you not to correct my mistakes, it will only make you look silly and as if you don't really understand the art of Speed Haiku)

I love you Duck! Hope your birthday was tight- like unto a dish.

evil genius
makes me cry with the laughing
little brother mine

knows code though not nerd
can say anything he likes
people still love him

non effusive bro
Low reactor chillaxing
Cool as cucumber

happiest birthday
twenty four on twenty-fourth
star birthday for star

my wishes for you
health wealth marry cute smart chick
visit me this year

*looking for my Ultimate Blog Party post? Just Clickie

Now just where would you (or I) be without the internet?!

Good day, good people!

Thank you for your profound input yesterday, I would like you to know that I got very little beyond the lurid green tub filling accomplished, but today will be better. I think.

Momza's comment on yesterday's post reminded me of a question I ponder often and I keep meaning to put to the brilliant minds here.

How would your life be different without the internet? Would it be better? Would it be worse? Would you be more effective in your roles, or less so? Would you even live where you do now? And not to be melodramatic about it...would you even be alive? Perhaps you found out that streak moving merrily up your arm was in fact deadly spider venom, or that you should have weird mole checked out? Ok maybe not, but it happens, people.

Sometimes I think, "well gosh, my house would be impeccable!" I would do nothing but play monopoly with my children and concoct healthy nourishing menus for the enjoyment of my family, in between cultivating an organic vegetable garden and serving at the soup kitchen.

Perhaps I would be living in a mental institution having alienated every living creature I ever encountered?

In reality would probably be somewhere on the continuum between these extremes, it is just hard to know quite where.

Con's of the internet:

• There is a reason it is called "the web". It sucks you in man. And every time you don't quite feel like doing something tedious and unpleasant it is a mere click away-endless entertainment and social interactions.It can steal away hours and hours of time without you even realizing it. There are many days I feel frustrated and ashamed when I consider how much time was spent online when there were other things to be done. Also, my bum feels numb.
  

• There are so many options available in every conceivable department of life from how you raise your kids to how you potty train your bunny, that it can be overwhelming, confusing and sometimes undermine your confidence in your own instincts. Information overload can leave me feeling frazzled and overstimulated.

• It can replace social interactions between the people in your own community (or even your own home!) Internet relationships often take a lot less work then "real life" ones. If you don't feel like talking to someone online, you don't log on or you just ignore them. If they irritate you at any given time you just don't visit their blog. It's harder to post an "unavailable" status when someone is standing across from you in the hall at church, school or home looking at you in a needy fashion. (Although I may consider marketing a Currently Unavailable paper bag to put over your head at times like those.) It may catch on, you never know.

Pros of the Internet:

• Sanity through Support

Seriously I am not sure I would have gotten through the 2nd year of my daughter's life without going to jail/the funny farm, my endless bouts with thrush, the fact that my body would manufacture exactly 3 drops of breast-milk per hour, my multiple moves to places where I knew nobody, my husband's nine months of unemployment and just the loneliness and isolation that can come from being the stay at home mom of four little people, without the support of a constant core of friends on the internet.

I discovered the web in earnest when pregnant with my second son (who will be 9 this July). The women I met through my "expecting group" have been a part of my life practically every day since. They have seen me through post-partum depression (which truly I may not have survived without their help in particular the help of a friend who had experienced the same, normalized it for me and guided me to get the help and treatment I needed while "sitting" virtually with me for hours at a time giving me the comfort and perspective I needed) , and all of the above mentioned scenarios with unfailing love and support. No matter where I moved, they were never further then my laptop (and there was always a contingent of them in real life within an hour or two of my new location). One of my friends set up a lunch meeting for me with her uncle and some of his friends who lived in my new community so that I would feel as though I "knew" someone. One of my "internet" friends jumped into a car at midnight,
after having heard many hours earlier that I was in labour with my fourth child. She didn't know what stage of labour I was in, or if I had even left for the hospital yet but she knew that I had no extended family around to support me and wanted me to have someone in the waiting room to celebrate our son's arrival when that time came. She drove for more then two hours and in the end, she arrived at almost the same moment I showed up at the hospital and was an absolute angel seeing me through the final hours of my 24 hour labour, and photographing the birth of my baby. She even wrote her beautifully eloquent version of my birth story for me to treasure. (scroll below mine). She and I had met in person only once, but I really believe she was sent as a human angel that night. Another member of our group was my wonderful doula for the birth of my daughter. She saw me through that labour and tenderly cared for our family after. We have had endless care packages, notes and thoughtful calls from women from my "playgroup" over the years. Another of them even flew my husband out to say goodbye to his dying mother, we could not afford for him to make that trip, and that precious time they spent together is something he is so deeply grateful for.

(The picture above is just a few of us who converged on my friend Kathleen's house for *several days* camping in her backyard for a July 2000 playgroup "reunion" with chillens and significant others in tow. This year will mark the 4th of such massive gatherings in Quebec, CA. At the last one she hosted over 100 people! Yes, absolutely, she's crazy, but we are crazy about her.)

• Inspiration.

I find the drive, creativity and dedication of so many women I have encountered online to be incredibly inspiring. I would never have believed there were so many phenomenal women in the world, but there are, and more! And they keep outdoing themselves. It can be a bit intimidating and irritating when they just keep getting more accomplished and perfect, but for the most part it makes me feel a little more powerful, creative and driven myself. (Image courtesy Melissa @ The Inspired Room)

• Knowledge

There is a wealth of very valuable knowledge out there. I love to read but without the web, many of the areas I am fairly knowledgeable about would still be complete mysteries to me. My life and those I have been able to help with what I have learned, would be much poorer for it. I would be a completely different person in terms of my skills set, and I would probably be a lot less confident as a mother. My kids may have had to suffer through many of my misguided ministrations without the other moms who gave me the proper diagnosis for their ailments and I would have suffered a lot more through my breastfeeding woes if it weren't for them pointing me in the right directions.

There is no debating that the internet has enriched my life beyond measure. But it has also taken over my life to an unhealthy extent at times. I suppose the secret is, (as it almost always is).....Boring Good Old Discipline. If you can get all the magic out of it, without getting sucked in, it's an absolute miracle. If you can't, it may be time to go cold turkey for a bit. Check this out:

If you are looking for my Ultimate Blog Party post. Just click your little mouse HERE.

My to do list is longer then the line on the opening day of Ikea.....

but I am sorely lacking in motivation to just tackle *something*. Sometimes having too much to do can paralyze me into doing nothing at all. How about you?

In the past I have noted that motivation has come from:

1.the impending visit of Houseguests

2.the embarrassment of someone unexpectedly dropping by and witnessing me lolling about in my squalor.

3.the desire to bring a vision to fruition. (This is how we got an entire (large) kitchen repainted (along with the furniture therein) and re-decorated in the space of a couple of days. And by we I mean mostly my husband. Who is motivated by me telling him to do things. I am impatient when it comes to fruition. (Actually, I am impatient when it comes to pretty much anything).
So my problem today is:

1. No impending houseguests

2. It's not that squalid, and there are things beside housecleaning on the list.

3. I already know what a clean bathroom looks like. No frenzied excitement driving me to see the end result there.

Tell me, Gentle Readers, how do you motivate yourself when your list is long and un-fun?

A few tactics which may (or may not) have worked for me in the past include:


1. Blasting music and putting on my tennis shoes. (this fools me into thinking I should be moving-I am quite easily fooled.)

2. Giving myself a scathing lecture and telling me to just get up right now this instant young lady.

3.Getting on the phone and chatting my way through a pile of laundry.

4.Setting a timer. "You can do anything for 15 minutes"

5. Putting the list in a prominent spot and crossing things off as I accomplish them.


And if you think I don't put the stuff I have already accomplished on that list, then you are sadly mistaken. I am not above sticking , "get out of bed", "brush teeth" on the list if it means I get to put a little precise check mark next to it. (Or Tick, as we say in South Africa). I really have a lovely little check mark(tick) if I do say so myself.

6. Taking a nap.

Ok.... one of those things is not like the others..hmmm...let's call it a freudian slip shall we?

But wait! I just spotted a job that will be easy and make a big visual impact, and as you know I am all about the big visual impact....(ohhhh shiny!) It involves a large, luridly coloured rubbermaid tub (the lurid colours were on sale) and putting things in that big tub, and then...! Putting a lid on that big tub! I can do this. I can.DO. this. And just like that..she is inspired..she is motivated! She is OFF....Tra laaaaaaaa.....

Later.. (or until the big tub is full).
If you are looking for my Ultimate Blog Party post click HERE

What I love about Mormon temples..

Below is another short presentation about our temples and what goes on there.

To this I would like to add a few of my own impressions. I have many memories of my visits to various temples. One of the most precious memories is of course, that of my wedding day. As my husband and I knelt across the alter in an intimate and beautiful sealing room in the Salt Lake Temple, we were surrounded by our smiling loved ones and the room was infused with sunlight and pure joy. As I gazed at my handsome husband whose face just glowed with love and goodness,I felt a profound sense of gratitude for the simple beauty and solemnity of the sealing. The words, "til death do you part" were not spoken. The words "for time and all eternity" were.

Although I can remember a time when our children were not in our home, I cannot imagine how it felt not to know them. As I held each one of them just after they were born, I felt a sense of recognition and I continue to "remember" them as they grow. I was and continue to be, in awe of their magnificent spirits, and the great wisdom and goodness I sensed in the huge souls housed within their tiny, perfect bodies from the first moments of their time on this earth. When I think back to that beautiful day in May almost 14 years ago, the memory is made all the sweeter knowing that it not only made my relationship with my husband, my soul-mate possible for all eternity, untouchable by illness, calamity or death, but our precious children were also sealed to us under that covenant. I imagine their spirits were there too that day, and it makes me teary-eyed to imagine their great joy and excitement as they witnessed the ceremony. As a mother there is inexpressible comfort in knowing they are ours forever, come what may.

As I have visited the temple many times since, I have always felt a sense of peace and great serenity the likes of which has not been duplicated at even the most lavish spas or beautiful beaches I have visited. When I am inside the temple, there is a sense of being completely cossetted from the noise, grief and confusion of the world for the entire time I am there. My mind is quieted, my thinking is clearer, my perspective is greatly broadened. I am at peace, yet I feel a sense of elevation in my thinking, and clarity in my understanding. I always leave feeling cleansed, accomplished, and motivated. I feel extremely blessed to have such exquisite havens all over the world available for me where I and my loved ones can be inspired, comforted and taught.



Looking for my Ultimate Blog Party post? Click HERE.

Here, have yourself a smiley little cry....

xox
PS: If you are looking for my Ultimate Blog Party post click here:

WHOHOOOOOOOO!!! SPRING! PARTY! PRESENTS!

Welcome one and all to Momedy. I'm Kirsty, mom of four, South African transplant to Ohio, sometimes doula, pre/post partum fitness instructor and writer with a love/hate (mostly love) relationship with running, and an unhealthy obsession with Ferreror Rocher and Cadbury's chocolate, my floor mop, and the Real Housewives of Various Materialistic and Shallow Locations . I work with the Young Women of our church which keeps me young and prematurely ages me simultaneously (unexplained phenomenon). I love my husband who is a saint, but funny and un-pious while he is at it. My kids make me look good . I like them too, rather a lot.

I write a weekly feature at Modern Molly Mormons: Run and Not Be Weary: Health for your Whole Self, where I give often hypocritical (yet excellent) advice.

I'm so excited that you decided to drop by! For real. I hope you will stay a while!

So...ummm..you may not have heard but....It is Officially SPRING!!! (In the Northern Hemisphere-Happy AUTUMN to those down South!!) I'd say that warrants an Ultimate Blog Party!!

I promised presents, and presents there shall be. Lookie, look!!!...at all the bounty one hyper-lucky commenter is going to receive! If that uber-super lucky individual is you (and really, why shouldn't it be? You are a good person, you have it coming to you, no?)... on one very awesome mail-day in the near future, you can look forward to receiving.....

Wait for it..........

*from Laura at Happy2Scrap everything to make a Chatterbook similar to this one. Remember the one lucky Kallie won? Now you can all stop being jealous of lucky Kallie, and have one of your very own. You even get to pick your own word! Isn't life beautiful?

Be sure to click on over there to choose your favourite colour scheme and include your choice in your comment. (Playhouse & Retro are unavailable)
Laura will include the monogram (letter) stickers and the runway kit as well as the chatter book
of your choice. (Wow!) Isn't Laura awesome? (The answer to that is YEBO (or "yes!" for the few of you who may not speak Zulu)









*from Claire at Tastefully Simple... this simply scrumptious selection:

• Almond Pound Cake
• Itty Bitty Oh My Chai
• Toffee Mocha Drink Mix
• Packet of Spinach and Herb Mix
• Tempting Appetizers Recipe Book
  

keep it all for yourself or share with a friend, we won't ask. (Tip: Tastefully Simple makes much appreciated teacher's gifts I have discovered). I encourage you to click around Claire's site. She is a delight to work with, and her products are delish beyond compare. (And even I can make them).

And what about from little old me at Momedy? I did promise I suppose...

Hmm....*scratching around in my purse* I have a half finished packet of gum...an only slightly used lipstick...I dunno...hmm...maybe you'd prefer a $15 gift card to spend at Amazon.com however you please? Buy yourself a book or a spatula or put it towards a Dyson (that should practically pay for one)...whatever floats your boat chickadee, have it your way...it's SPRING after all!

But oh my...WAIT!HOLD.THE. PHONE. I got so carried away that I almost forgot...The.Chocolate *reverent pause* Sacrilege!
Nothing good or right is complete without chocolate, so to the pot I add...a 3.5oz slab of Cadbury's Fruit & Nut chocolate. AKA: Nirvana in a wrapper.

Now let's all breathe into a paper bag for a moment and review what is necessary to win all this bounteous bounty....... Just leave a comment, I don't ask for much. Tell us your favourite thing about Spring and don't forget to specify your preferences for the chatter book.

And hey, if you like what you see here (I tell you how to lose 40lbs in 3 months and how to get high legally on your couch-what's not to love??) join the ranks of my above averagely beautiful,wise, and witty Blog followers (in that pretty mosaic box to your upper left <----). Not only will this ensure that you never miss a single moment of my scintillating ramblings, it also gives you the chance to win a followers only prize drawing. It's all fancy and exclusive-like.

Check out all the fun (and oh, you KNOW there is some fun happening) at the Ultimate Blog Party Headquarters. The Ultimate Party Pad if you will.

Did I mention......WHOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!??
And oh yes...

HAPPY SPRING!!!! (or Autumn)

(And for those fretting foreigners....never you fear! I will mail all the awesomeness to whomever wins wherever they may live in all the big wide world. )

Photo credit: SM Photography
As for my wish list...I would LOVE to win anything. I never do you know, so it would be a thrill and a half. If I had to choose my top 3 prizes would be...
22 — $50 gift certificate to Target Stores
Provided by: Beginner Baby Blog
Because who couldn't use an extra $50 to spend at Target??
1 — $100 gift certificate to either Pedal Cars and Retro or A Rocking Horse To Love
Provided by: 5 Minutes for Mom
Because seriously, how cute are those? And I have little boy turning 5 (sniff) in May.
58 – Kitchen Aid Artisan Stand Mixer
Provided by: Moms Who Think
Because..Hello!!
Other prizes I would adore include: #21, #49, #51, #50,#71, #118, #19

Everything crossed!!!!!

Slaying Monsters

I'm talking about that monthly Monster, of the hormonal variety, over at Molly Modern Mormon's today. Go check it out. And male readers- knowledge is power and there's nothing even close to graphic, ( but now there is no complaining that I did not warn you.)

Fun FYI For Friday

You may have noticed the groovy blog party button to our left <------------See? Yes the one that says Ultimate Blog Party. The one that looks like this. Go ahead, I will wait while you scroll...
That's it! It all starts on Friday, that's only 2 more sleeps! And it goes on all. week. long. No way, can such extended fun and frivolity really be true? Yes way!! I know! I can hardly believe it myself.

I'll be partying people. I'll be partying hard. And with parties comes presents. There will be a whole bundle of presents for one lucky commenter. Dang gina! What a bundle it will be! It will include some goodies from my friend Claire of Tastefully Simple. They will be simple, they will be tasteful, and they will be absolutely yummylicious -no doubt about it. Go check out her site to get an idea (but do be aware that excessive drool is not good for a keyboard).

AND in that bundle of goodness will be something awesomely awesome from my friend Laura of Happy2Scrap

I'll give you a hint. Everything you need to create one of these for your very own self. (Except yours will probably be nicer, since most grown-ups know how to cut a straight line).

And of course I will be adding a my own momedy-k touch to this bundle of grooviness, but you will have to come back on Friday to find out just what that touch will be. ;)

Now, do you honestly think it will be anything short of fabulousl considering I just put the momedy-k stamp on it???? Especially since nothing has ever been branded with that (very) recently invented stamp before??? No. I did not think so.

See you Friday, it's only a daaaaaaaayyyy (or two) awwaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
But wait! There's more! (Do I sound like an informercial?) for just 19.99 plus shipping and handling...nah just kidding...
I believe in rewarding the faithful, and I also think we would all benefit from more people remembering to check this blog, so on the friday following this friday, I will flinging fun and fab finds the way of my faithful followers (those exceptionally good looking people in the little mosaic-y type box to your left, no...the other left <------ ). In other words on that Friday (that Friday being April 3rd) only the followers will be eligible to enter. So you may want to consider jumping on that bandwagon before then. I'm just sayin....

(I'm feeling a bit cult leader right now-let's call them fans rather then followers, does that work for you? It works for me. Cool)

Are you confused? 'Lil bit? Here's the thing if you are a "follower" (aka fan or even fake fan) or you decide to be one before Friday the 3rd, you stand a chance of winning something cool. Not so much if you are just a casual clicker.

For the Ultimate Blog Party, starting Friday though, anyone can win, one click stands, faithful followers, it's an equal opportunity prize fest.

And now I think I need a nap. Alliteration is very tiring.

How to cheat at cleaning

While "spring" cleaning today, I ironically came upon this book which I bought sometime ago, and have not yet had a chance to read.

The title me think about some of my own cleaning cheats. This is when it is not about thorough so much as quick. Here are a few from me to you (with love)...

1. If you only have a moment to make a room look presentable, start with the floors. Always the floors. A clutter free, vacuumed carpet will always make a bigger impact then nothing on the couch or counters. Trust me. Clean floors make the room look clean(er). So haul at that Dyson. {jealous} or that Hoover. If you have time to mop the floor (and you will if you have my magical marvelous duo on hand,) then do that first. (This is not my big white floor)
2. Close cabinets and cupboard doors. This is a trick I learned from my friend Carolyn when she would come over and clean my house like a blonde whirlwind when our kids were tiny, and I was exhausted and in chaos, bless her. I always remember her telling me that closing doors makes everything look instantly better. Too true. In addition, make sure drawers are always closed in the kitchen so that you don't have to clean out drips and crumbs. Those are just irritating. Speaking of drawers, check out this little gem of a trick I stumbled on at granny green.com

3. Smoke and mirrors. Your house could be clean but smudges and fingerprints on the glass will always make it look grubbier then it is. On the flip-side, a spotlessly clean mirror will distract from fuzzy bathroom floors. Right after floors, tackle any glass or mirrors.

4. Steam is your friend. Clean the bathroom right after a steamy shower. Everything will wipe up and off so much easier. Same applies to cleaning microwaves-heat some water in there for a minute or two with some lemon juice, and then wipe the sides and top of it clean. (By the way, I wrote that in the mirror myself, just for you. Check out captionit.com Fun!)

5. Did you know that there are cleaners for your dishwasher? I inherited one from a friend who moved (hey Jen Lynn!) and I discovered this morning that it works really well. All you do is run an empty load with a bottle of this upside down in the cutlery basket. However you may still need to use the steam theme to wipe off any residual grunge at the end, so get in there with your Mr. Clean Magic Eraser before the dry cycle. It even seems to take off the rust stains.
6. Dust with old dryer sheets. The static repellent helps to keep the dust at bay. Plus-they are free and recycling is cool.

And as a bonus here's one tip I got from flipping through the book:
Don't make your bed. Apparently it is healthier to leave it unmade so that you don't trap all the little dust mites inside your hospital corners. Eeeuw. So if that makes you feel better about your unmade bed, there ya go, happy to help. I think I will still make mine and try to forget that I ever read that. (shudder)

I am hungry..

but I am too tired to go and forage for food. The kitchen is painted. Mainly thanks to angelic Aaron. I am a very bad painter and the kitchen is very large, with very many nooks and crannies. Oh, it is not a pleasant thing to paint our kitchen.

I painted the wooden cabinet/hutch thingie. I am a very bad painter. Thankfully I was going for a distressed look. You should hire me should you ever want something to look distressed.

The weather was beautiful today, just gorgeous. We had strange children wandering in and out through our backyard and house until we finally shooed them all out after 7pm. It felt like Summer. Tomorrow it will rain. Because heaven forbid we get too used to such bliss.

Today is St. Patrick's Day. I am not Irish (that I know of, although there's a pretty good chance there's something floating around in my DNA,) but I did don green. In addition, I have green eyes which I obligingly kept sunglasses- free (because I'm no party pooper and also because my son broke my sunglasses). Living in a college town afforded me the opportunity to drive said son home from preschool through streets thronging with drunkards. Cheerful drunkards. They appreciated my green efforts and yelled as much through the open (!) car windows. Sweet. I'm sure St. Patrick would be thrilled.

I just received this letter from sweet Gracie
Dear Mommy
I hope you have a good St. Patric's day!! I hope a leprecone will give you some glod. PS. lepercones are not real.
Love you lots,
Gracie

Well gee.

One more anecdote from this day. Thumper the (increasingly less) crazy bunny made a break into the living room where Finny was playing this morning. He was not thrilled about this development, muttering darkly about not wanting her playing with his toys. (Good thing that kid is the youngest).

I told him more or less to suck it up, it would not kill him to play castle with a rabbit once in a while. So he took matters into his own hands. Much like a bullfighter he attracted her and then trapped her in the kitchen. As he walked purposefully back to his toys, I remarked, "wow Finny, you are pretty clever". To which he replied very matter of a factly,

"Yup. Master of the Bunnies".

Hope you saw some green today (particularly the type peeking up through the ground).

Monday Moments

Woke up more then an hour earlier then usual. Only felt cranky about that about 45 minutes into the day. Felt really cranky about it.

Rode a hovercraft. In a school gym. Powered by a leaf blower. I sat in that serene environment for 7 (count em) hours today listening to other people ride (and scream) on the leaf blower powered hover craft. If you want to imagine how loud that may be, close yourself in your garage and turn on your leaf blower, then bring all the neighbourhood kids in to scream at you over it.

Stamped several hundred little hands with invisible ink. The big favourite was when I stamped little paw prints going all the way up their arms, disappearing under their sleeves. Shone a black light on it and ooohhhhh....awesome. I have to say it did not get old, I was just as awe-struck with its awesomeness every single time I did a" reveal" as they were. I wonder what that says about me. It took me a while to figure out at 4pm why I had such a headache...

Held a freshie (less then 24 hour old) baby for most of an hour today. And inhaled. And looked at all the perfect teeny little parts. Perfect teeny ear, perfect teeny finger, perfect teeny toe, perfect teeny yawn. Inhaled some more. When they figure out how to bottle the smell of a brand new baby's head we will have heaven in a bottle. Discussed the horrors of the labour with mom of freshie baby. Good times. Really though, there is nothing like the exhiliration of a difficult (torturous) labour being over with your precious prize in your arms. Nothing. She was glowing.

Drove with my sunroof open, music playing for all to hear. Happy, happy, joy joy.

Watched my preschooler cruise from one experiment to another in school gym with all the cool confidence of a sixth grader. That kid is just cool. No escaping it. Also? Completely, painfully adorable.

Watched my kids playing in the park-my little girl with flying blonde braids, red and navy apple print dress, lively laughter as she takes on all the boys in an impromptu soccer game.

Watched my second born, freckles lit up with the thrill of cruising across the school gym a few inches above the ground.

Watched kitchen transform from African burgundy to Mint Frappe at the hands of my patient husband. Marveling at the amount of clutter which needs to be eliminated to transform cozy African kitchen into sweet vintage kitchen

Cleaned the ceiling while I was at it. And the top of the fridge...and the cabinets..and..(once Mr. Clean Magic Eraser is in hand it is hard to stop..)

Wore brand new clearanced Anne Taylor khakis today. And I liked it. I am over jeans.

Feeling really , really tired.

Happy Monday!