Lemon Creams-aren't they pretty, and fresh looking? Perfect for a Spring tea-party don't you think? Go ahead, click on the photo to get the full feel for the lemony smoothness dripping off the feathery light cookie. Mmmmmmmmmmm..... I found them on Leigh-Anne's super site and they are really called Lemon Dreams.
But in South Africa we have a biscuit called Lemon Creams and it is one of the things I miss most about living there. Oh how I loved me a lemon cream...mmmm. When I saw this recipe I figured it might be a close approximation. I'm not sure if it is, all I remember is that they were indeed dreamy and aptly named and I shall be making them again.
I am easily intimidated by baking ventures but since Gracie agreed to help me, I gave it a shot. Although this looks a little more detailed then your average chocolate chip cookie, it is really straightforward. I added more lemon juice and rind to my lemon curd then asked for, because I am of the opinion that things can never be "too lemony". Go on over to Leigh-Anne's site for the recipe and make some immediately. Must be eaten with tea.
Foodie Friday!
Friday FeelGood
Hello lovelies!
Don't you just love a feelgood opportunity? The Secret is in the Sauce is holding an auction today for Momitforward. Ahhhhh......FeelGood shopping. What could be better?
Momitforward are raising money for the moms in Kenya today. I have never met a Kenyan I didn't like. Let's help a fellow mama out shall we?
There are some fabu items donated for the auction including something from me. So skip right over and check it out.
Warm and fuzzily yours...
Easter Retrospective
Annual everyone had better smile nicely, we've only got one shot because we are late for church already matchymatch Easter portrait.
Our Easter Egg tree, complete with mouth blown eggs (grossly satisfying process that, isn't it?) dyed and glitter monograms. They're not Martha but hey....
Gracie skipping up the garden path
Finny hunting with the basket that has been carried by the baby since Benj was the baby. He refuses to give it up, even though it only carries three eggs. Thank you Finny.
Our bunny has awesome taste, non?
For the big hunt with friends, Benj ditches the dinky basket...
Overcoming hurdles together
So dainty
Daffodils, Gracie, Tulips, Finny and Chocolate. These are a few of my favourite things...
Happy foursome
Gracie relaxes with the Easter bunny
I love watching my kids sacrifice eggs for each other. All of them look out for each other amidst the frantic search. Here Gabe is offering Finny this egg and Finny is saying, "no it's ok you can have it Gabe". They make my heart happy.
Annual Easter Line Up at the Richardsons
Go! Go! Go!
Spot the Easter bunny. 
Spot the chocolate bunny. Look hard. It's sooooo cute. It makes my heart (and mouth) happy too.
Under and over
Chef Aaron models his Easter-ish mitts. Isn't he lovely?
It was a perfect day. The Easter Bunny was exhausted.
Mama needs a new computer!
UPDATE: I now have all the nominations I need! Thank you! {smooch}
Once I have written the Mom Logic post, should I make it into the Top 10
(think positive think positive you'regoodenoughyou'resmartenoughanddarnitpeoplelikeyou) I shall be soliciting your votes again. Thanks again m' peeps!
Hey m'peeps, I just read about this stellar opportunity and I come now to throw myself at your kind mercy. I cannot write a post to be judged until I have 10 nominations.
If you feel so inclined, please mosey on over here or just click on the Nominate Me! button above, and post a nomination on my wall-just scroll down to "comments" at the bottom. (Commenting here on my blog does not count!)
Now just to be clear, I'm not asking you to say that you think my post is best or anything like that, (which is good since my post does not yet exist), but you give me the chance to be in the running. Because you believe in giving people chances. Whaddaya say? Hook a girl up?
And hey, if you want in too, I'd be happy to nominate you in turn. 'Cos I'm cool like that. (Just re-read, and I can only nominate one blogger, as can you, so first come first served ;)
No sew window treatments
I sewed kitchen curtains once. They were cute enough. They took a lot longer then these did though. These were made with a hot glue gun. Fabric and a hot glue-gun. That's all you need.
I recently redecorated my kitchen. I was looking for a window treatment that was casual and unfussy. I loved the look of these, they were just what I was envisaging. When I discovered I could make them with glue, I was doubly sold. That's my kind of sewing baby.
The beauty of these is that you can "fluff them" as the original creator puts it, re-drape them and re-invent them to look as casual or as formal as you'd like. The ones we made look sort of like dish-towels which is what I was going for, the ones on the site where we got the idea were far more structured and beautiful for a more formal room.
When we hung these up we loved how they looked, but soon realized that they blocked out more light then we'd like them to.
No problem, my husband hitched them up in no time flat. No further glue nor pins required(we even went without the safety pins and hooked everything up with the curtain rings). We could have done with about 1/2 the fabric though.
Without further ado...Glue your way to new window treatments with this clever lady
Have fun!
Which way do you swing?
Left or right?
Relax, I am not launching into politics again. I'm talking your brain. We were discussing this in my "playgroup" and I realized I had no idea. If I were to guess, I would say it was whichever one is really bad at Maths and good with words. (Turns out Math and words are on the same side. What??!) Whichever one loves creativity and all the tiny pretty details, but none of the details on an Excel spreadsheet. Hmmm.....
Whichever one likes people to write down directions in WORDS and not draw me maps. Maps are meaningless nonsense to me. They make nice art. Once when I was a marketing intern, I went on a trip to Florida with my very irritable, short-tempered and impatient boss. I was designated navigator. He would thrust a map at me, and seriously, he'd may as well given me a scroll covered in cuneiform.
I had no freaking idea what, where or how I was looking at that thing. So I did what any clueless and terrified intern would do-I just guessed. He would say, "so do I turn left up ahead?" and I would take a 50/50 shot at it and "say...ummm...yeeeees...I think so... " This went on for a while and miraculously we did not get lost, and then we did and he glanced over at me in outrage and disgust and bellowed that I was looking at the map upside down. True story.
(I'm not a drinking woman and hanging with drunks is not my idea of a good time, but the one time I was really grateful for booze was on that trip. A few beers with dinner would make him almost human to me and it gave me strength to face the next day and the next map.)
Btw, my friend Janet will attest that I am not that hot at navigation even when there are words involved. What can I say I am navigationally challenged. I think I actually have brain damage in some areas of my brain. I'm not even kidding.
Also, can I just mention here that the whole referencing North and West and such here is such a foreign concept to me. In South Africa we do not reference direction in every day conversation. Here you guys reference it so much I often feel like we are speaking different languages. When someone tells me to go the west side of the building I am just as likely to show up at the south side. Unless the sun is setting. Then I'm good. You've got to be sympathetic, I've only been here for like...14 years.
Anyway I took this quiz and came up with this.
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(8)Further explained here. (I got the dancer to change directions after I looked away and read something, and looked back at her. ) Fascinating grey blob, the brain.
Do you know if you are leftie or a rightie? If you take the quiz do you agree with the results?
Everything old is new again!..
Happy Easter Monday everyone! I hope you had a glorious Sunday. I did. More about that later when I have decided which of the 4,090982798 photos to foist upon you. It really was a lovely, spiritual, uplifting, chocolate filled, fun and happy day. And the sun shone.
Speaking of sun..have I mentioned lately that It's Spring! Which means...Rebirth! And....
Rebuilt Blog!
Do you love it? I do, I do!
Remember lucky reader The Lovely Mrs. M, from "I've changed my name to Mommy".???? She won the first ever Friday Follower prize and I have since gotten to know her a bit better. She is a delight. I was visiting her blog (which is hilarious btw) recently, and realized that she was a web designer. Since I adored what she had done with her own blog I asked her to help me with mine.
Now I'm sure this will come as a shock to you (not), but I am what one may call a perfectionist/OCD/Anal/ Control Freak/Pain in the Patootie in matters like these, and even though I was dying inside every time I sent a new
She also worked like a demon and got the whole thing done super fast. Seriously, she was incredibly prompt. I could not recommend her more highly.
The happy news for you people is that she is, for a limited time, offering a special! Here is how it works:
1.Go to her personal blog it is a delight, check it out.
2.There is a link there to her design blog, (Mommy Designs Blogs). Click on it
3.When you get there mention "I've changed my name to Mommy" in your request for design work and you get $20 off any order $60 or more from her already very reasonable prices! Just like that! It's a deal peeps.
Go! Go! Hurry!
An Apostle's Easter Thoughts on Christ
A video summary of a talk given by Elder Jeffrey R. Holland, a member of the Church’s Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, focuses the attention of “those who are alone or feel alone or, worse yet, feel abandoned” to the life of Jesus Christ
Sonnet for Sparks
Marc-y Marc
We call you Sparks
or derivatives thereof
It suits you well
And speaks of our love
Sparky you are a man of action
You are the spark of inspiration
Behind such projects as
Fixing the bed
Or the door
Or the car
Or the random thing I had no idea was broken
All that and so much more
Also the designing of winning
Pinewood derby cars
Even a loss this year does not the memory mar
You are also the hand
Carrying out the inspiration
With eager help from your
Special Friend
Without you, alone he'd have to fend
Sparks on a mission
Never still or idle
Well sometimes
But not often
Only when
We have used you up
with the
Cooking of big meals
And the hoisting and throwing of children
Renaissance man
Spiritual
Athletic
Town planner extraordinaire
Good to my sister
Puts up with the abuse
She and I heap upon you
When we are a pair
Friend to Babbie
When he too
Must deal with
The sisterly abuse
for a good
Skiet en Donner
You two will always make use
You blend with our family so well
No-one would be able to tell
That you are actually an outsider
(But don't feel bad about that
Old chap)
Always the driver of the car
Your wallet, she becomes skinny
But you utter narey a whinney
And yet you return
To the hole
Which is BG aka North Pole
And never make rude comments
About the downstairs loo
As others do
We are sorry we missed your b-day
It was not that our hearts were far away
from you
We thought about you at work and at play
But alas
The time-difference
She sucketh
And our plans ran amok-eth
We did not think you would appreciate
Birthday wishes
At 3:00am
'Cos now you are old
If I may be so bold
But you still look young
Even though you are blessed with all of that sun
And all the kidlets think you are fun
No worries mate-You've still got a good long run
(the un's are easy to rhyme, that was a good time)
Hope to celebrate with you next year
That would bring us lots of cheer
throw some shrimp on the Barbie (but forgo the beer)
We love you lots
Like Jelly tots
And you being so far away just plain rots.
Happy birthday Sparks!! Hope your year is fabulous doll.
Good Friday
It has been a Good Friday. I woke up to medicate a coughing child at about 5am, and had the opportunity to prepare a talk I have been asked to give on Easter Sunday. While the house was still and quiet, I spent a couple of hours reading scriptures and apostolic testimony of this amazing gift of the Atonement. I am not an early bird ordinarily, but this was a really beautiful start to the day, I would love to dredge up the discipline to make that a daily occurrence. I may post the talk later but for now here is an excerpt from a talk by someone else regarding this extraordinary day.
I think of how dark that Friday was when Christ was lifted up on the cross.
On that terrible Friday the earth shook and grew dark. Frightful storms lashed at the earth.
Those evil men who sought His life rejoiced. Now that Jesus was no more, surely those who followed Him would disperse. On that day they stood triumphant.
On that day the veil of the temple was rent in twain.
Mary Magdalene and Mary, the mother of Jesus, were both overcome with grief and despair. The superb man they had loved and honored hung lifeless upon the cross.
On that Friday the Apostles were devastated. Jesus, their Savior—the man who had walked on water and raised the dead—was Himself at the mercy of wicked men. They watched helplessly as He was overcome by His enemies.
On that Friday the Savior of mankind was humiliated and bruised, abused and reviled.
It was a Friday filled with devastating, consuming sorrow that gnawed at the souls of those who loved and honored the Son of God.
I think that of all the days since the beginning of this world’s history, that Friday was the darkest.
But the doom of that day did not endure.
The despair did not linger because on Sunday, the resurrected Lord burst the bonds of death. He ascended from the grave and appeared gloriously triumphant as the Savior of all mankind.
And in an instant the eyes that had been filled with ever-flowing tears dried. The lips that had whispered prayers of distress and grief now filled the air with wondrous praise, for Jesus the Christ, the Son of the living God, stood before them as the firstfruits of the Resurrection, the proof that death is merely the beginning of a new and wondrous existence.
Each of us will have our own Fridays—those days when the universe itself seems shattered and the shards of our world lie littered about us in pieces. We all will experience those broken times when it seems we can never be put together again. We will all have our Fridays.
But I testify to you in the name of the One who conquered death—Sunday will come. In the darkness of our sorrow, Sunday will come.
No matter our desperation, no matter our grief, Sunday will come. In this life or the next, Sunday will come.
Joseph B. Wirthlin, “Sunday Will Come,” Liahona, Nov 2006, 28–30Resurrection Eggs
Last night when I pulled out my
Resurrection Eggs
for Family Home Evening, I pre-empted the lesson with a little Q&A:
So! What are we celebrating this Sund
ay?
"Yes, and what is Easter all about?"
"Easter Eggs!"
"The Easter Bunny!"
(dying inside)"Ummmm...noooo..."
"Oh I know! It's about Jesus. Celebrating Jesus...."
"Well let's just look at these eggs shall we?"
I was shocked m'peeps. I
t was the classic, "What Not to Say in Sunday School Class".I could not have scripted it better. Surely not my children? My kids are so smart! And so spiritual! And so well parented! How could this be?
Seriously though, I really was shocked that my kids weren't better versed on Easter. We are religious people, we attend church each Sunday, talk about spiritual things regularly in our home, read the scriptures together... and you know, they really do seem to be quite spiritually inclined kids and I know they have been taught about Easter and the true meaning of it repeatedly, and to be fair, once we got going with the story it did all come back to them...more or less....but wow..how quickly it all gets eclipsed in the commercialism and sugar of it all!
My point is, that even if your child (or you) are fully aware of the story and meaning behind Easter it really bears repeating... and bringing back into focus .
Resurrection Eggs are not my idea, there are many different versions of this idea, and you can even buy sets of them. If you don't already have a set in your home, you should put together this one.
It is a really fun and especially intriguing way to present it to young kids, (and old ones too.)
I got the idea for mine and list of materials/scriptures directly off this site. It's cool there because there is a version for older people, and a version younger people. For my purposes we went with the little people version. The layout comes out a bit weird (at least for me) on Christy's site, so I'm cutting and pasting it here. Don't say I never did nuthin' for you.
I present (and store) my eggs in an egg carton which formerly held chocolate Easter eggs. I taped this picture over the secular parts of the carton. Since I have 4 kids and there are 12 eggs, they each get 3 turns and it turns out fabulously fair. (Love it when that happens).
THE EASTER STORY: This carton contains twelve plastic eggs.Each egg contains part of the Easter story, along with the appropriate item (except for the 12th egg, which should remain symbolically empty). The eggs are numbered (1 through 12). Simply open up the eggs in order to read the Easter story. You can serve the eggs directly from this carton, in a decorated basket, or at each place setting at the dinner table. This can provide a unique presentation of the often-heard Easter story. In addition to opening the eggs in order to tell the story, you can play a game of "scrambled eggs" by having players match the scripture to the appropriate item, or putting the story in sequence. | ||||||
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A Little Horror Story
Once upon a time in a house in the town that Spring forgot, there lived a woman who liked to brush her teeth. In that same house lived a little girl who liked to explore the contents of the bathroom where the woman liked to brush her teeth.
One late night the exhausted woman went to brush her teeth. About half way through the process (or a good minute or so of vigorous brushing,) she realized that the toothbrush head just didn't feel right. It was sort of soft...and mushy. She pulled it out of her mouth and realized with much distaste, that this was not, in fact, her toothbrush head. It had a pink ring rather then the blue ringed head she had just replaced her old head with.
"Hmmm...", thought the exhausted woman, "that little stinker daughter of mine brushed her teeth up here and left her brush-head on my toothbrush. Grrr...gross!!" She irritably replaced the pink head she'd been using with the correct head, and resolved to lecture her daughter about not touching anything of mommy's in the bathroom anymore, and definitely not to use her toothbrush if she could not remember to put the right head back on.
(You may or may not know, that the woman is particularly skittish over the issue of toothbrush hygiene).
Then, like all good mothers do, she forgot about it.
A few days later, the woman noticed that the pink toothbrush head had not moved from the basket on the counter where she had left it. "Oh my word!", thought the horrified woman, either my dear, yet apparently disgusting daughter has not brushed her teeth at all for several days, or she has been using someone else's toothbrush to do so. Either way, grrrr..yuck! "And the disgruntled woman made a mental note to lecture her delightful daughter about using her own toothbrush and/ or brushing her teeth with it on a regular basis.
Later that day, the woman brought up the issue with her daughter, "why were you using my toothbrush base and what have you been using to brush your teeth since then- with your pink toothbrush head still in my bathroom?" she demanded indignantly.
"Oh no mommy", said her wide eyed, golden haired child, smiling proudly, "that wasn't my toothbrush, I found that pink head and put it on your toothbrush for you, because I know that pink is the colour you use".
With a burgeoning fear gathering in her heart, and a sinking feeling churning in her stomach, the woman weakly asked,
"where did you find that pink head?"
"Under the sink!" said the sweet daughter, in a spritely manner, "Mommy? Mommy?...what's the matter?".
The woman stared unseeingly into the distance, a scene was playing out in her head. A scene that involved her thinking, "Oh look! Instead of tossing it, I will recycle this old toothbrush head and use it to get into all the nasty little crevices on the toilet seat! I will give all those crevices a good scrubbing! Maybe the base of the toilet too! Yes! This toothbrush will be just the thing for that." The scene ended with the woman industriously carrying out her plan, and then rinsing the toothbrush head, (but not bleaching it..because it was only going back into the toilet again).. and storing it neatly......
The woman in the town which Spring forgot has been involuntarily gagging ever since. No plague has developed as yet. Her husband continues to kiss her. Because he is a good man. A very good man.
And what of the daughter? I don't think she will be helping out in this way again any time soon. At least this is my fervent hope. Children in my bathroom inevitably mean pain and despair for me. Remember "Making Magic" in my contact lens case? Ahhhh....the misty eyed memories..
Remind me to tell you of Glitter Face Day.
The Pioneer Woman is An Alien Freak of Nature....
Seriously people explain to me how this woman does it all? I actually do not follow her blog that closely but what I have surmised from my incredulous visits is this:
She used to be a city princess who grew up on the golf-course but now she lives on a ranch in the boonies and not only has she totally adapted to that, she loves it and she runs that thriving ranch which involves riding horses and herding cows and photographing cow patties...and in addition to all this it seems that she has recently designed and decorated and also seems to run that lodge they seem to have built for visitors? Stay with me... (I say "seem" a lot because I don't have the full story as I'm sure some of you do, but this is what it seems and it all seems....like wow).
Also, she updates her incredible behemoth of a blog daily. But not just one measly little post oh no, she basically creates a new Martha Stewart Living magazine everyday on her blog-her blog which includes step by step photographic directions for the amazing recipes (extremely high fat) which she creates (incidentally she is completely unapologetic about the high-fatness of her yummy recipes and appears to be lithe and healthy ), and photography/photo-shopping tips, and let us not forget the ever progressing Harlequin Romance Novel she writes of her courtship and marriage. Oh! did I mention that she home-schools her 4 kids (including teaching them Greek and Latin, but of course), and mentors her mentally disabled brother, and she builds garden boxes for her enormous garden, and photographs her animals and chops off their nuts, and sells them and eats them (the cows, not their nuts..[I don't think] ), and takes her kids a million miles into town for soccer and such, and runs her billions of awesome giveaways....to name but a handful of what she seems to do.
And unlike some domestic goddesses who shall remain unnamed, she is totally funny and entertaining and un-snooty about it all, and almost makes you think that she is flawed and normal but then you realize that clearly she is not.
What the??? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE FOR SOME PEOPLE (specifically this person)TO DO SO MUCH?! HOW? And don't tell me " 'cos she stays off the internet" because clearly The Pioneer Woman doesn't! So there.
This is what I do every day:
Umm....
I will get back to you on that....
Signed
Inadequate in Ohio (and yes I know we aren't supposed to compare, which is why I have decided that she is an alien freak of nature or a fictional character created by a conglomerate of businesses who want us to buy the things she uses so that we can become more like her. Yes, that's probably it. OK, all better now! Seriously, PW? Your freakish alien self rocks my world. You go girl. )
My no internet weekend resolution=totally blown...
on the very first weekend no less. But I have a good reason. I was online almost all weekend watching this.
It was touching, uplifting, inspiring, thought provoking, helpful, guiding, enlightening, and motivating as always. I am always so sad when it is concluded with this beautiful hymn. I can never hear or sing this hymn without the tears starting. This hymn was sung on my last Sunday at church in Swaziland by an African choir. (Before I left to come over to the States). Now tell me, would you be able to ever hear it again without getting misty?
When I hear it at the end of conference I always feel wistful. It follows an entire weekend of feeling spiritually nurtured and connected to so many people. But it is also a beautiful send-off, it is a cue which heightens my resolve to do better and to take what I have learned and improve my life with it.
A "Righteous" Giveaway!
So even if you aren't one of them Whacky Mormons, we're kind of in an economic place right now where most people can probably see the wisdom in have some food storage put away for a rainy day. Shelf Reliance is an awesome food storage program which allows you to pay as you go. Here's the story as found on the Mormon Mommy Blogs site. Go there to enter! (And go ahead and check out some Mormon Mommy blogs while you are there too.
Shelf Reliance is sponsoring a pretty righteous giveaway over here on the MMB! Shelf Reliance has launched a revolutionary new food storage program, and not only do they want your input, they want to GIVE you some food storage!
The Thrive Q is a pay as you go food storage program-- Think NetFlix only for food storage! It's pretty sweet!
Shelf Reliance is offering one of our lucky readers the Thrive Essentials Sample Pack. The Essentials Pack comes with six #10 cans of some of the most popular Thrive food storage items! Contents of the sample pack include: Whole Wheat flour, Hard White Winter Wheat, Instant Rice, Freeze-Dried Strawberries, Potato Chunks, and Small Red Beans.
Will Work For Prizes...(GIVEAWAY!)
Ever-smiling Laura at Happy2Scrap (she really is happy to scrap, and to do everything else it seems...I'm not sure I have ever seen her go more then 25 seconds without a smile...it would be annoying but strangely, with her, it's not..) has an excellent incentive to tackle that office space/bathroom/basement/pantry/other scary spot this month. And you can catch up on scrapbooking your baby's first year. Your baby who is about to turn 9.
I think this is such an original and fun idea, when I read it I immediately started looking for something to do that would take no more then 15 minutes...
Well shoot...no free flight to South Africa....
on the upside I got to come home with my family. At least I think that is a good thing but it's hard to tell with the mood everyone is currently in...
We have had a spate of great, sunny weather lately. I have become accustomed to it and so driving through the driving rain and the low grey clouds today was just about intolerable. E-NOUGH AL-FREAKING READY. Y'know???
This, combined with the fact that I had about half the sleep I usually do (do you all sleep absolutely horribly the night before anything vaguely out of the ordinary happens?) and my children were acting as though we were dragging them barefoot across the snowy plains rather then sitting in a warm and comfortable car watching a (new)DVD and eating popcorn,... all this soured my mood a bit.
Oh and then there was construction and closed roads and standstill traffic. Which is quite trying when you have an 8am appointment with Big Brother (who has a history of being unpredictable and testy). An appointment which you would rather not have to reschedule since it takes 2 hours each way. We were late. Aaron got a GPS for his birthday and it just kept making our estimated time of arrival later and later. Stressful little gadget, that.
When we finally burst through the doors of the (spiffy and new) INS place, Aaron was sent back to the the van because of the lethal little scissors on his Leatherman key-chain. In order to harm someone with those scissors , you would have to ask that someone to please hold very, very still while you painstakingly positioned the tiny scissor blades over their earlobe or nose or other small enough appendage, and then you would need to ask them to continue to stand very still while you sawed away at said appendage for long enough to possibly break the skin.
But you know...safety first.
ANYWAY, then I sat there surreptitiously checking out at all the other foreigners, some of whom looked foreign -like the burka lady who was squinting at us through the tiny slit in her all black ensemble-(I have to say, that is a pretty intimidating get-up...like a ninja, but less sleek), who was sitting next to her comfortably and contemporarily dressed husband, and some of whom did not look foreign at all..like me. I have to say the INS office is a pretty good place for people watching.
After a surprisingly short wait (especially by government standards) I was summoned to the back office where I was copiously finger-printed. I feel bad about my finger-prints. They aren't good finger-prints, they never have been. I warned the disinterested looking fellow about this, to which he cockily replied, "well, they won't be a problem for me". But they were a problem gentle reader, oh yes, they were. The computer kept telling him how horrible my fingerprints were and how the "minutia was insufficient". It was utterly humiliating. Well okay if not quite utterly humiliating, maybe a little weird, intimately clasping hands with a young man for an extended period of time while he rolled and rolled my insufficiently minute fingers. (Ironically I do have smaller then average hands so you would think the minutia would be all there for the printing..)
Eventually the machine said that although my fingerprints sucked, they supposed they would have to do, and I was asked to take a seat. I was zoning for a bit when I realized I was actually sitting in front of a camera lens, and the guy was trying to take my photo. This naturally resulted in a spectacularly horrific photo. The guy even waved me over to look at it (he obviously thought it was spectacularly horrific too) but by that point I was over all of it, and was not all that motivated to try for a glamour shot, so I said, "yeah sure, whatever". He did look a little shocked about that considering I had corrected him when he typo-ed my weight as 9 lbs more then it is. Can't be having that.
I was then ushered to the next station where I was handed my original Green Card with a lovely little sticker telling everyone I was legal for another year (they anticipate it will take that long to process my new card, which will then be good for another 10 years). And that was that.
There are, as far as I know, at least 3 places in my hometown where I could have received the exact same service. In fact due to working in schools, I have recently had my fingerprints taken by 2 of those 3 places. With the exact same machine.
But really, it was a delight to traipse through Detroit's ghettos in the rain, and to get lost with my whiny children on the way home (hooray nifty GPS). I'm so glad we got to do that. It was special.
God bless the INS...or not.
(My apologies to those of you who were holding your breath for my deportation. You know who you are..mom)
PS: Yikes, just received a comment from someone about the hostage/shooting at the INS office in NY today. :( Apparently it could have gone a lot worse for us. How absolutely horrible. My fervent prayers are with the victims and their loved ones.
My bags are packed, I'm ready to go....
Tomorrow morning at 6am I will leave my home with my entire family in tow (first day of Spring break wheeeee) to make a fun and exciting 2 hr trip to scenic Detroit. What thrills and delight await us there you may ask, with bated breath?
Well let's see...I'm an Alien...I'm a (temporarily) legal Alien. I'm a South African in Ohio. (With apologies to Sting). Big Brother has summoned me. Tomorrow my Green Card will either be renewed or snatched from my sweaty little hand, fed into a shredder and two burly US Marshalls will escort me onto a waiting plane bound for South Africa, never to return, my children and husband weeping copiously in my wake. (Or at least this is the dramatic scenario I have conjured up in my mind to make the whole thing seem less impossibly dreary.) Because 6am is the middle of the night for a princess like me. And Detroit, she aint scenic. And anything involving the INS is guaranteed to be painful in one way or another.
Did you know they don't call themselves the INS anymore? 'Cos they had such a bad rep. Oh the stories I have to tell about that glorious institution. They stole some really important things from me and people I know and love. Like the chance to watch their grandchildren grow up, their home, a year of their life, and their livelihood. Yup it's a Lifetime Original Movie folks, remind me to tell you about it sometime when my emotional reserves are high.
In short, the INS suuuuuuuuucks m'peeps, and I just can't wait to be in their evil clutches again. I get positively warm and fuzzy just thinking about it, I do.
My next post may be from South Africa, because I'm sure they monitor this blog.
Kisses....
Quit yer whinin' and get out there already.....
I'm writing about how to find the motivation to Just DO It over at Molly Modern Mormon's today. Just call me Jillian.
And now, fittingly enough, I am off to the gym.
Playing the Fool
Wow I had the most hits on my blog ever today. By a rather significant margin. We are a world full of avid pranksters apparently dahlings. Also, did you notice the ads on my sidebar? They picked up on the "Fooling around with my husband" title and there has been all manner of "how to know if your husband secretly hates you/has a secret life and family in a neighbouring state,....etc etc. Niiiiice. Sorry 'bout that.
Anyway, I had a rather successful day today.
I started the day by rather lamely (hey I had just woken up) asking Gracie why her hair was pink. She looked in the mirror and replied, "I don't know". Ooooookaaaay? I suppose she is blonde. Moving on......
I then rushed downstairs and frantically asked the boys why they were still home. They looked stunned. I shrieked that it was 9:30am! (It was 8:30am, which they told me).
"But the clock is broken, I told you last night!"
(Since I frequently tell them things which they later have no recollection of, this was plausible.)
They looked horrified. Then they sprang into action and started dashing around aimlessly uttering unintelligible and increasingly hysterical sounds. I caught Gabe's eye, he looked as though he was afraid for his life-sheer terror. I suddenly realized this was not a fun idea. I said quietly, ( and what I thought was soothingly)..."Hey....Gaaaabe...April Fool!"
He stopped for a moment, stared at me looking completely flummoxed, and then burst into tears. "Mommy, never do that again!" Yeah sorry Gabe, I won't. You don't mess with that kid and his punctuality phobia. That was mean.
Moving right along..
Kept Finny entertained with look there's a pink elephant, a giant spider etc etc. Innocuous fun..whatever.
Called Aaron.
He greeted me with, "Good morning and you won't get me with any April Fool's pranks".
I replied flatly, "I wish. It seems our children have a couple of extra days of Spring break".
"Why?" came the reply.
"Oh I found some fun friends in Gracie's hair this morning, and then some in Gabe's. I just kept the other two home because I haven't had time to check them yet. Awesome huh?"
"NO WAY!" came the distressed reply!" Where could they have gotten them?"
Me: "I don't know, kids get lice..it happens."
Him: "Well are you going to call Amy? The kids were playing together last night and she should know."
Me: "yeah I guess I could do that", I replied thoughtfully. "Then she could be an April Fool too."
Him: "You are TERRIBLE".
Me: Oh I know.
Him: "I can't believe I fell for that!"
Me: I can.
Ruthlessly moved onto next victim: friend Cindi. (Disclaimer: The problem with me is that I don't generally plan what I'm going to say, I just sort of lie by the seat of my pants..sometimes it turns out a bit..off)
(Cindi is my son's preschool teacher.)
Me: So hey, guess why Finny was so tired yesterday?
Cindi: Why? Is he sick?
Me: Yup. Scarlet Fever. (Scarlet Fever??!- I did a quick mental inventory of an illness that she was likely to know little about and get more freaked out over. Strep would not faze her. Trust me.)
Cindi: Oh my gosh that is serious isn't it?
Me: Yes. Very.
Cindi: It can affect the heart...
Me: (thinking how very tasteless this was) Umm..yeah.
Cindi: So did they do a blood test or what?
Me: Well I guess they would have, if he really was sick...April Fool?
Cindi: I hate you. And also it is quite unsettling at how well you lie.
Me: Yes, for me too.
She was a good sport about it (even though she'd had to excuse herself from the room she was in for fear she would cry). Sheesh, I suck. I know, I know, we do not joke about illness, only pestilence. It won't happen again.
Moving on to aforementioned Amy...
Me: Hey, so you may want to check between your kids' fingers and toes and crevices and such....
Her: Umm....why would that be?
Me: Because my kids have scabies and they were all playing together yesterday.
Her: Scabies?!!! Where would they get scabies??
Me: From my filthy house probably...
Her: Your house is not filthy
Me: That's what you think
Her: No seriously where would they have picked up scabies? Are they contagious?
Me: VERY!!
Her: Oh so probably from a child at school with a filthy house then...
I was a little deflated by the fact that Amy was so intrigued by the source of the scabies and less by the fact that her own precious children may have them..
Me: Yes, well anyway the whole thing is most unfortunate.
Her: Well yeah...
Me: It being the 1st of April and all
Her: You are so MEAN.
Me: Yes, I know.
My neighbour, Tiffany then called. We had some casual chit-chat...then (after ascertaining she was actually at home and not calling from the road..)
Me: So hey..what's wrong with your van??
Her: Nothing? What do you mean?
Me: Well...why are they towing it then?
Her: They're TOWING IT???
Me: Yup I'm standing in my backyard watching...wait you didn't know?
Her: They're ToWING IT??
Me: Do you want me to run and stop them??
Her:It's April 1st. I hate you.
Me: Ah yes, I get that a lot.
